So I've been going through this stage of things wondering how I could have done things differently if I had known that Rocky would live only 1 year from the time of our first visit to the Dr at Huntsman. The Dr said "6 months to 2 years"  Rocky and I wondered "when does the clock start on that?"  It started that day, and one year later my Rocky died.

How I wish I had…

You know what's hard about this? I'm driving through my neighborhood and I see all the houses decked out. I see the tree inside and sometimes the people. Families enjoying the season.

Not me though. And I used to love this time of year. Even through all the Christmas's I was a single mom and lonely. I still got it together for my kids and that made it good for me.

But now I just look at these other people and it makes me feel incredibly alone and sad.

Why do I always end…