It's been ten months...and it hurts as much as it did when i first found out Shelby died.  For some sadistic reason, which i will never understand, my ex and his mother continue their games.  *sigh  Some days, it's so  hard to even move outta bed to do anything, other than hope....Hope i can finally meet and visit with my grandson (Shelby's son) and HOPE for some sort of reconciliation or understanding with my son.  If either of those is not possible, why am i even here?  A lil over a…