December 2010 Blog Posts (23)

Surviving through the holidays

I made it through the last two months, I wasn't sure I would. I was very scared. I made a plan but I didn't carry it out. I pray I never feel that bad again and if I do I pray for strenth to never carry it out. It's been years since I've felt this bad. So you see greif comes and go's. It's in and out like a rainy day. If I can just get through the rainy period I can make it, I can survive. You know how people say stupid things to those who have lost loved ones. Well a lady came up to me and… Continue

Added by anne on December 5, 2010 at 12:51am — 2 Comments

i feel so alone

i feel like after my mom died ijust shut down completely i dont know how to be the person i use to be when she was alive. i feel likeive lost my way and there is just know one that even bothers to help me to find my way back. some times i dont even feel normal i feel like a totally different person. even my boyfirend says it all the time. i feel like i cant get a hold on my emotions and i feel sometimes like im losing my mind. i get scared that i will always be like this and my boyfirend will… Continue

Added by steacy del valle on December 1, 2010 at 5:38pm — 3 Comments

The Day

I suppose I'm ready to write about what happened the day Matt died. I suppose maybe I need to.

I remember being irritated the day I left for work. I wasn't feeling well, but at least it was a short shift for American Express. Matt woke up and was sitting on the couch when I left for work. He and Trinity were supposed to go to Spirit and then to Matt's grandma's house…
Continue

Added by Natasha L. on December 1, 2010 at 11:36am — 1 Comment

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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