Today is the one year anniversary of my brother's murder. For the past year I have gone through a range of emotions from sadness, anger to emotional paralysis. Today I realized that I've been living in fog where I somehow imagined that he was just unavailable for my phone calls. Today I had to acknowledge that I will never see or hear him again. How is it that today is almost as bad as the day of his death?

It's been a year, and I still don't understand how another human being can…