hey Kelli H , 

its hard losing someone you love so much especially in these type of circumstances i think its harder , my son and i were beginning to have a good relationship and this got taken away suddenly . can't believe its been nine months now i have not seen him smile or laugh and joke with me it hurts so much . your situation sounds difficult to but I'm sure your brother would want his children to have you in their lives i suppose you just have to try for their sakes and his but how do you contain anger and being pissed off about it , for me its been a constant battle daily with my self , i over analyse everything , i can't be asked to carry on and would rather stay in bed most days but just try  with my fake face even though i feel like crying most times its been an emotional roller coaster but thanks for adding me to be your friend I'm here taking each day at a time just as you should 

Hi Kelli, I live in Selma, TX so am pretty close to you. My husband died a little over 3 years ago and it is still so painful.