Marlene,  Today I mark two years two months.  Like your post at two years, reality has set in and the shock is diminished.  I don't know how it is my body still wants to wake up every day.  I am a ghost of my former self.  I wish this was all over and beg for it in my breakdowns.  I spent 35 years loving the man who lit my fire every day. You never get over this, of that I am convinced.   All we can do is share with each other the feelings that are  left over from the worst thing that has ever happened to us.  

Take care.