I am so happy that you accepted my friend request.  Ever since I read your comment, "Before this happened I would have said I was a very strong Christian, but now I have trouble trusting God since he allowed my son to die."  I just wanted to cry and give you a hug.

Do you believe the Bible is God's word?  May I show you some scriptures that will help?

I will keep you in my prayers....

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com

Hi Patti,

I'm happy to add you as a friend.

Patti,

I have read some of your posts and I am really in a bad situation with my faith.  What made the difference for you?  How were you able to turn it around?  I miss my son so much.  We spoke over 20 times a day.  My son had a tough life.  He was a victim of a crime when he was younger and suffered from PTS.  Severe anxiety and panic attacks.  He wanted to medicate to sleep.  Not to get high.  On August 17th of this year, he went to sleep and never woke up.  I can't imagine getting through this.  

Have to do this in two comments.

Hi Patti,

You did not alarm me.  I have read it many times before from others in grief.  I try to not think ahead and just stay in the day I'm in.  There is no norm anymore either.  There probably never was, but now....nope.

I wanted to say a little bit about Psalm 139.  I have a picture with verses 13 to 16 on my refrigerator.  Probably have had it there for a couple of years.  When I first read it something just grabbed me.  One day not too long before my son died he was looking at it and he said, "You like this don't you?".  I told him I did because it made me realize that God knows everything.  He just smiled at me.  I think it's a wonderful Psalm to read.  Let me know if you read it, and what you think.

The other verses that have helped me accept that his day was meant to be are:

Job 7:1  Is there not an appointed time to man upon earth? Are not his days also like the days of an hireling?
Job 14:5  Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.
Psalm 139:16  Your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 
Ecclesiastes 3:2  A time to be born, And a time to die;

Because my son suffered from mental health problems I also found some comfort in 

Isaiah 57:1  The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; merciful men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil to come.

I believe God knows exactly when, where, and how we will die. God knows absolutely everything about us (Psalm 139:1-6).1 O Lord, You have searched me and known me.  You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.  You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.  For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.  You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.

I hope these help you in some way as they have helped me to know that I nor anyone else could have prevented my son's death.  It doesn't make me less sad or miss him less, but I don't have to go through the "what ifs" or wondering why all the time.  If I start to do that I just remember these verses.

Wish I could do more to help.  Be gentle with yourself.

Sending a cyber {{{Hug}}},

Ann