Hi Patricia, sorry i misssed your annversary. I know that must have been hard! Thats alot of years with one man! You talked of that last time with him, when he left. Yes i went thru that, just looking at him and asking why he did'nt wait for me to get out of the bathroom to leave! and checking to see if he was really gone.one eye particially open, yes i see this day very often.don't want to, but, its just always on my mind. Now, im wondering why i feel like im gonna feel better once the 1 year annivarsary coming up.i cant explanit, less its because people keeping telling me the first year is the hardest.dont see that changing tho. and like u the desire to move just isnt there. Yeah, im going to cousling, but my mom is behind that. she does'nt know how to help me. so she does these kinda things. drags me out of the house every chance she gets, and ,has my cousin getting me out. not comfortable ''out'' yet.

Pat, So sorry for your loss.  and thank you for the warm welcome. I just believe no one understands this pain unless one has lost their "soulmate" I am not very savy on this site but learning. Please feel free to contact me anytime!

Jan

Patricia, Thank you so much for your kind thoughts AND for e-mailing to me. I really feel very alone. Do you go by Patricia or Pat or Patty or.....?
You are right, most friends do not understand the grief we feel. My very dear friend (30+ years) is the only one who reaches out to me with any kind of compassion.....she brought me flowers on Valentine's day because she knew how I was hurting without Jim. The holidays are the worst!! again thanks, Kathy

It was so nice of you to make me feel so welcome. Your grief is so new. I remember walking around like a zombie just going through the motions back then. I thought that was awful. Yet I'm finding that now, 15 months out, the reality is REALLY hitting me. I haven't been able to look at his picture of talk about him. A year of shoveling feelings to the back shelf and all of a sudden, that shelf is overflowing and I never know when I'll be sobbing into my pillow or squeezing one of my chihuahuas so tight the tears just flowing freely.

 

I want to go on with what's left whatever that is but I honestly don't know where to begin. Like your husband, mine was my world. I'm not even sure who I am without him.

 

Again, thanks for the warm friendly greeting. Don't anyone hesitate to talk to me. I don't bite (Much) and when I'm not sad, I have a wonderful sense of humor and a great listening ear.....

Thanks Patricia. It was nice to get a welcome right away.

We are coming up on the third year anniversary of my partner's death. She was sick for a long time, about 10 years. My mother (94) died four months later, and she was disabled in a different way. Thanksgiving week my dad came down with pneumonia and the grief began to sweep over me again. He is home now, but requires lots more care these days. I am just very tired.

Last night I was looking for supportive ears other than my same friends.

hope you had a good christmas . i know it probably has been hard. this is the first christmas without my husband. i do miss him terribley. but i know i will see him some day.  i just wish i didn't have to wait along time. but my kids need me.  im here if you need to talk to me. take care tammi