Patricia J. Jones
  • Female
  • Lake Villa, IL
  • United States
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  • Stephanie Dean
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Wedding Ring or No Wedding Ring?
19 Replies

I went to Borders yesterday for find a book on grieving.  My 13 year old niece was with me.  As I browsed through the limited "bereavement" section my niece was getting antsy.  She had gift cards…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Loon Oct 15, 2011.

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About Me:
I am a former medical practice administrator who left my job one year ago to care for my husband. I lost my husband on December 3, 2010. I have 1 son, age 36, 1 daughter, age 32 and three beautiful grandsons (ages 2~10).
About my Loss:
My husband fought a brave and courageous battle against heart disease. He was on the UNOS list for cardiac transplant but it was not God's will. I am so lost and alone right now. I'm sitting in a very dark and lonely spot that seems to get worse each day. He was my love, my best friend, my everything.

Smokey Robinson ~ "Really Gonna Miss You"

My daughter's friend Kelly made a CD for the funeral of all of Joe's favorite songs.  We both really love the old Motown sound.  This is the one that speaks to me to the most.  I'm really going to miss my husband, my love, my buddy, my best friend.

 

Really gonna miss you

It’s really gonna be different without you

Time came when you had to go

For the rest of my life gonna be thinking about you

(Yes I am)

 

I’ll miss you my buddy, I’ll miss you my friend,

I promise my love for you will never end.

In your finest hour I was there with you

And without you things won’t be the same

But there’s a higher power that we answer to

And you heard him calling your name

Really gonna miss you

Everything about you

I know you want us all to be strong

Really gonna miss you

I know you’re going to that magic place

Singing a brand new song

 

I’ll miss you my buddy,

I’ll miss you my friend

I promise my love for you will never end.

 

 

 

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Patricia J. Jones's Blog

CHRISTMAS ANGELS

My grief is still very new (my husband passed away on December 3rd of this year).  Writing and networking with others has really helped.  I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and to having to circle W in the marital status field was traumatizing.  I know that is just one of many challenges I will face over the next year. This morning as I was trying to wrap my 3 grandson's Christmas gifts (that thank God I purchased in November-I can't do the stores right now) my tears were falling on the…

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Posted on December 21, 2010 at 8:13am — 1 Comment

THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE RIGHT HOW

My husband passed away on December 3, 2010 while waiting for a heart transplant.  He had undergone 3 major surgeries in the past two years.  I was in a state of shock for the first week and now every day seems to be getting worse.  Yesterday I picked up his ashes.  Today I donated all of his clothing after family members took some of his nicer things.  My hands are shaking as I'm trying  to type.  I can't sleep, I can't eat.  I know I have to go through this in order to heal (I equate this…

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Posted on December 18, 2010 at 4:30pm — 3 Comments

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At 9:59am on August 29, 2011, Linda Gutierrez said…
Hi Patricia, sorry i misssed your annversary. I know that must have been hard! Thats alot of years with one man! You talked of that last time with him, when he left. Yes i went thru that, just looking at him and asking why he did'nt wait for me to get out of the bathroom to leave! and checking to see if he was really gone.one eye particially open, yes i see this day very often.don't want to, but, its just always on my mind. Now, im wondering why i feel like im gonna feel better once the 1 year annivarsary coming up.i cant explanit, less its because people keeping telling me the first year is the hardest.dont see that changing tho. and like u the desire to move just isnt there. Yeah, im going to cousling, but my mom is behind that. she does'nt know how to help me. so she does these kinda things. drags me out of the house every chance she gets, and ,has my cousin getting me out. not comfortable ''out'' yet.
At 6:43pm on February 26, 2011, Janet Hartford said…

Pat, So sorry for your loss.  and thank you for the warm welcome. I just believe no one understands this pain unless one has lost their "soulmate" I am not very savy on this site but learning. Please feel free to contact me anytime!

Jan

At 8:14pm on February 17, 2011, Kathy Walters said…
Patricia, Thank you so much for your kind thoughts AND for e-mailing to me. I really feel very alone. Do you go by Patricia or Pat or Patty or.....?
You are right, most friends do not understand the grief we feel. My very dear friend (30+ years) is the only one who reaches out to me with any kind of compassion.....she brought me flowers on Valentine's day because she knew how I was hurting without Jim. The holidays are the worst!! again thanks, Kathy
At 10:51pm on January 22, 2011, Stephanie Dean said…

It was so nice of you to make me feel so welcome. Your grief is so new. I remember walking around like a zombie just going through the motions back then. I thought that was awful. Yet I'm finding that now, 15 months out, the reality is REALLY hitting me. I haven't been able to look at his picture of talk about him. A year of shoveling feelings to the back shelf and all of a sudden, that shelf is overflowing and I never know when I'll be sobbing into my pillow or squeezing one of my chihuahuas so tight the tears just flowing freely.

 

I want to go on with what's left whatever that is but I honestly don't know where to begin. Like your husband, mine was my world. I'm not even sure who I am without him.

 

Again, thanks for the warm friendly greeting. Don't anyone hesitate to talk to me. I don't bite (Much) and when I'm not sad, I have a wonderful sense of humor and a great listening ear.....

At 10:59pm on January 18, 2011, Dee Graham said…

Thanks Patricia. It was nice to get a welcome right away.

We are coming up on the third year anniversary of my partner's death. She was sick for a long time, about 10 years. My mother (94) died four months later, and she was disabled in a different way. Thanksgiving week my dad came down with pneumonia and the grief began to sweep over me again. He is home now, but requires lots more care these days. I am just very tired.

Last night I was looking for supportive ears other than my same friends.

At 7:39pm on December 25, 2010, tammi sue maczorowski said…
hope you had a good christmas . i know it probably has been hard. this is the first christmas without my husband. i do miss him terribley. but i know i will see him some day.  i just wish i didn't have to wait along time. but my kids need me.  im here if you need to talk to me. take care tammi
At 4:20pm on December 23, 2010, corinne raviv said…
Patricia.....I agree you can only relate to people that know how you feel. I still spend most of the day in tears...and the nights are worse. The thought of going to bed alone ....so I try and sleep a little on the sofa. It seems to be getting harder now that the reality is slowly sinking in
 
 
 

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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
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