Janet Hartford
  • Female
  • Temperance, MI
  • United States
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thankful

I am grateful for my children. My husband lives on through them.God is merciful. May he ease your pain this holiday season and bring joy beyond your imagination.Continue

Started Nov 27, 2011

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About Me:
I am 55 yrs old. I lost the man I loved and have never been the same. It has been 8 yrs. After he died, I put myself back in school. I now hold a B.A in Family Life Education. It has been a difficult road but I was so blessed to be married to him and the mother of our 2 beautiful children.
About my Loss:
I lost my husband suddenly while he and I were coming back from a fishing trip. We were married almost 23 yrs, We have two beautiful children, ages 17 and 20 when he died. He fell into Lake Erie. I was able to retrieve him and he was still alive, (had a massive heart attack) He was bleeding quite a bit from hitting the boat after falling in. I assured him he would be ok as I continued to scream for help. I tried to get him up out of water, to no avail, I was not strong enough. He looked up at me and said, "I have no more energy and went into another massive heart attack." I continued to keep him up above water until finally (seemed like eternity) someone heard my screams and call 911. Today, I live with guilt and the whys..

Janet Hartford's Blog

MI winter and stuff

Today, I want to jump on a plane and get out of this cold weather. I need beach, sun, and warmth on my soul.  I am 55 yrs old. I did everything I was to do in order to feel better. Meds, therapy, going out with friends.. etc.. But no one will tell me whyyyyyyyyyyy he had to leave me. Why did he have to fall in Lake Erie and leave me and our beautiful children? Why do I have vivid memories of retreving him holding him in the water, and telling him everything will be ok? Why did he have to…

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Posted on February 26, 2011 at 7:00pm

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At 1:14pm on September 1, 2012, Nancy Gershman said…

Janet, thank you for the friend-ing. I got chills reading your story, especially you holding your husband in your arms like that. The weight. The chill. The fear. The screaming. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But I can tell you one thing I've seen with my own eyes: when a widow or widower's children ask for this story over and over again, they are looking at you as a hero. As real and as heroic as any soldier in battle. That's what I wanted to share with you. Hope we'll speak more. Nancy

At 8:01pm on February 13, 2011, Patricia J. Jones said…
Janet~welcome to this grief site.  I lost my husband on December 3, 2010.  I'm just coming out of the "I'm in total shock phase."  The reality of life alone (without my husband) is now setting in.  What a story you have to tell.  It sounds as if you went through in one day what I went through in 3 years caring for my husband while he waited for a heart transplant.  I ask myself why all the time.  Why did we go through three years of hell on earth for it all to end like it did?  Why did other patients receive heart trasplants and not mine?  Why am I now a widow (I hate that word) at the age of 57 ~ to live the rest of my life without my huband?  You certainly have nothing to feel guilty about.  It sounds like you did everything you could.  There are a lot of amazing people on this site.  We are all going through the same thing.  Our lives will never again be the same.  Please join our group My Soulmate My Best Friend.  Hoping you some peace and happiness.  Pat Jones
 
 
 

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Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
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Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
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Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
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Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
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