On June 28th 2011 it will be the 10th anniversary of my mom's death and I have more grief today then I had when she first died. I was numb for along time after she died and I just didn't know how to feel. I dread this anniversary because it will finally hit home for me that she is gone and she will never come back. I miss her every day and I am angry at the cancer that took her life. I just have been so emotionally numb and I just haven't dealt with it as I should have. I am so jealous of… Continue

How come the pain of mom and dad being gone isn't going away.  I feel their loss as  much as I did when they died.. I am so emotional about them all the time. I know they are in a better place but that doesn't mean I don't feel their loss daily. They won't be around to see my son get married and they won't see their great grand kids. Lord why if you knew us before we were born did you realize that taking mom and dad from wasn't fair. But I don't hate God I hate the cancer that killed mom and I… Continue

Does anyone understand how numb my heart is these days.  Does any one understand the need for me not to get close to people. I want people close but at the same time I push them away so I don't have to hurt if they die and leave me. So here is this wall and I know I have to knock it down but I can't.  Everyone I have loved has died on me my mom my dad my best friend Chris my son's friend Chance. Please tell me how I am supposed to let myself  love again and open myself up to that. I know people… Continue