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Comment by Deborah Dodds on May 27, 2011 at 6:08pm

I know what you mean when you don't want to let anyone close to you.  How we put up a wall to prevent the hurt if they die or leave us somehow.  I have done the same thing for the past year since my husband was murdered.  I don't ever want to hurt like this again.  I lost my dad when I was 23...30 years ago and I still miss him and cry for him.  Grief is different for all of us, so don't beat yourself up.  I lost my mom and my sister to cancer and I'm angry and numb.  Today I was numb.  Randy's one year anniversary of his death is in 5 days and I can't stop crying.  I don't think that we will ever get over the loss of a loved one.  It may get easier, but it will never be over with.  So yes, I do understand how you feel.  With Love, Deborah

Comment by Paige Lovelace on March 17, 2011 at 6:43pm

I have my best friend who will listen to me she is the only one who doesn't tell me I  should be over my mom and dad's death.I have  so many people tell me to just get over it, But those are the people who haven't lost either of their parents or have had a lot of loss in their lives. My sister just pushes the pain away like I do. It is just so confusing my mom has been gone for  almost 11 years and my dad 4 I just wish it would get better that is all.

Comment by Sean Casey on March 17, 2011 at 5:42pm

I wish I had an answer for you.  I just lost my wife 6 weeks ago, and right now the thought of marrying or even dating again is just not something I can wrap my head around.  I know that there's time for that, and maybe down the line it'll be of interest again, but right now I just can't see it.  It's helped talking to friends and family who aren't trying to push, who get that I just am where I am, and are willing to listen to what I have to say without telling me how I should be feeling or doing.  I figure if I at least keep opening up to those I do have, more will come.  It doesn't seem to be so much a matter of letting it happen with the intention of making it happen.  Just opening up.  Letting them know what's going on.  I know for me it's worth it, in the long run, to keep the connections.  It makes dealing with the grief a lot easier.  It is kinda scary sometimes, but it's been worth taking the chance in terms of making today more liveable.

 

*hugs*