Dear Laura I'm so sorry for your loss My your Daughter 's love reach you everyday sent from heaven
with Love Jacob's mum
"Leukaemia sux!" www.caringbridge.org/me/jacob

Hi Laura - I'm sorry you have to join this 'club' of parents who have lost children. Life without them is very hard and the journey of grief we now find ourselves taking is a long and rocky one. My daughter Meshael died in June 2001 - she had a rare blood disorder Fanconi Anaemia, she was just 14 when she finally lost a long and painful fight with the disease. It took me a little time to realise that the very best people to turn to are other bereaved parents - only we really understand the pain we suffer daily, even years later. There are some lovely people here and we will gladly help you as you stumble along.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter - she is with some other very special Angels now. Take care and God bless
Gail x

Just wanted to send you a truckload of hugs:

Hi Laura,

To be honest, things aren't going so great today. My mom is really upset and I don't know how to help her.

We're really close, and she's been helping me a lot -- I know she needs me to comfort her at times like this, but I feel so sad myself that when she cries, I feel entirely overwhelmed. Now she's mad at me because she says that she comforts me, but I won't do the same for her...

I just feel so lost without my dad. When he was here, I could always give the rest of my family emotional support when they needed it, and know that I could go to him if I felt overwhelmed. He never expected anything from me in return for his comfort or love.

I just feel so lost without him.

Thanks for checking in with me. It's nice to know someone cares.
-Cat

Hi Laura,

Thanks so much. I really needed to hear that. I've been feeling exactly like that -- now that my dad's gone, I feel like I've lost all purpose.

I'm going to try and talk with my mom -- I hope I can comfort her a bit. Thanks again.

Hi Laura,

Thanks so much for checking in with me. My birthday was on Wednesday, and it was so hard not having dad there. He would always ask me "what do you want for your birthday?"... and I would always say "a pony." It was our little joke. It's strange, but since then I've been feeling a bit numb, and I found it difficult to post. It's good to be talking again -- it really helps.

My mom has been so helpful to me. We hug all the time -- we've always been super close. I still feel like a part of me has been cut out though. Even though I know he's gone in my mind, I still have these moments where I'll think, "oh, I can't wait to show this to dad." A part of me still doesn't entirely believe it....

I hope you're doing well. I looked at the pictures of your daughter, and she's very beautiful. Thanks again for all your help.
-Cat

thanks for your support the picture on my site is cody and my son dacoda

I am so sorry for your loss! I am in the numb and its not real stage. Thanks for writing me I need support I am so lonely and lost without my mom's love and guidance. I took care of her for over 3 1/2 years she suffered knee pain(needed replacement), Fibromyalgia and I did everything for her and I am so glad I had the time to show her my love unfortunately I would become overwhelmed and we would get into a fight. I wish I could take those words back, but I can not. I believe and know she is with our Heavenly Father.

Julie

Thanks for all the encouragement. May I ask when the numbness went away or got better. My mom's doctor never told me that she was so ill she would die within 6 months. He said to me she had chronic conditions and they could not be fixed. I guess he did it explain it well, or I did not really hear what he was saying. She told my friends and rarely mentioned chest pain and I did not tell her doctor. The problem is the doctor said they could not do anything for her but meds.

Sorry I miss wrote he did not explain it to me, I wonder if mom told him not to say anything, she would never want her baby to here this. As I was so devastated when my dad passed.

I just read through your email and you are a medical assistant. Are you currently working as a ma, did you take the cma or rma? I will post a picture of mom.

Thank you so much for your comment. It helped me. I have always dealt with depression but the pain i feel from losing my mom is greater than anything i ever felt. I has been almost 5 months and i think the numbness is just now wearing off. Im sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope we can chat more. Once again Thank you

I would like to add a song. sissys song by alan jackson but i dont know how can you help me or point me in the right direction please

Laura ~ I love the picture of ya'll with the "Coke Bear". I am a great collector and that is the first lifelike one I have seen. The picture truely captivates the joy you both are having.

we have one on facebook.my sister put it there.my brother loved horticulture.he landscaped an area at 5 rivers in Dayton and in front of the St . VIncent depaul.he also did areas in Chicago.hit was his passion.he also loved the arts.Theatre and singing.

Hi Laura,

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate them. You and I seem to have some things in common. My father also died on May 25, 2009, due to his injuries. And, we also spent a week together in Las Vegas one month before he died. My parents lived in Florida, and I am in Colorado. I am sorry for your loss and I understand how much you miss her. The time since that day has not seemed to get any easier. I, too, very rarely want to do any socializing. I just want to stay home. When I do have to go to work, I turn into another person who just smiles. I have become very good at hiding what I am feeling.

I have asked people who have gone through this kind of loss, when does it get better? When does it hurt less? I have been told, that "it does not get better, and it does not hurt less. You just get use to it." I am not sure that I really like that answer, but I am waiting and hoping for that day when I wake up, and "I am use to it" and things don't seem as bad. When that day will come, I don't know. So, I am just waiting...

I hope that the good times you had with your daughter are always in your heart and mind. I wish you the best.

Dear Laura,
Thank you so much for your note. I too am so sorry for your loss. I spent the better part of last evening searching out grief websites and finally settled on this one. I purposely didnt put up a lot of info until I got to know the folks here. I will get a picture of my daughter up soon. From what I know about grief work, I am just about where I need to be at 9 months. That doesn't help make me feel better though. My wife suggested that if I didnt talk to a professional, at least I should blog or do something - so that's why I am here.
Thanks for listening.

hi laura.
thank you for trying to help. school is just so hard for me and i feel i have lost all motivation. i want to be a marine mammal trainer. i feel i will never succeed.

Hello Laura, Thanks for the kind words. I am sorry about your loss as well, I have 4 sons and I can not amagine losing either one of them, I wish that there was something that I could say that would help but I dont know what that would be! this week we have to go to 3 candle light services, its going to be a hard week. I will Pray for you laura, Dana.

Thank you, Laura. My heart goes out to you; words sometimes just don't express the enormity of feeling in a situation. You must miss her terribly. Susan

it seems were are in the same boat

Laura, I'm so sorry for your loss and we are in agreement...we get better but we nver get over. I am also sorry that your husband can not give the support you are so badly needing at this time. My ex husband was the same. I think he just didn't know how. Men think they have to be so strong. Maybe he thinks by trying to get back to the norm of everyday life will help you do the same. Yes, he has suffered a loss too but he really doesn't understand. Not his fault. I can sort of step back and understand this now about John...at the time it was much harder to see. Stay in touch...connie

Laura...it is hard to explain but i know exactly what you mean. maybe he is doing the very best he can right now too. sometimes that has to be enough. i know at the time i wanted my husband to share in my depth of grief. of course he couldn't. he will only understand if he ever loses one of his children. i pray for his sake he never has to come to that understanding. take care, find something beautiful today because there is still lots of beauty in this world...
connie

Thank you for the beautiful comment you left for me. I am so sorry for your loss and I seen what my Mom and Dad are going through. It is terrible! I have a daughter and I can not imagine the pain. I know how it hurts for my Sister, but my Daughter...wow! God Bless you and know I am thinking of you. Thank you for sharing your story with me.

Laura Thank you for your response. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that this is real, and she won't be here anylonger. My heart aches for her, we had a very special relationship also. We lost her Dad in 2002 and she and I have had to grieve for him the last 7 years. We were so happy at Christmas and then this. I'm not very computer literate, but I'll try to stay in contact. Thank you again Pat

Hi Laura,
Thankyou for the advice. My mom and I werent exactly on the best terms when she passed, so sometimes it's hard not to feel guilty. But, I know that it's just how girls are with their moms when their in their teens. I just didnt get the after part, the part where I realize how much she did for me and I get to reconnect with her and have an adult relationship with my mom. I had the realization, just didnt get the comfort part.
I am really sorry about your loss. A friend of mine, his 15 year old brother died 4 years ago. I remember his mom always talking about it with me. We connected because of it. From what I have been told, loosing a child is the greatest loss, I couldnt ever imagine. I am so sorry.
I am here as well, If you ever need to talk!