Beautiful poem.  Thanks for sharing it with us.  Miss my mom.

Thank you Janet, Sundays are so hard I used to go there every Sunday to cut the grass and whatever needed to be done, and eat dinner.  It very lonely without her.

Thank you lovely people for sharing your love and pain....my heart is with you all.

Just wanted to see how everyone is doing, no one has posted for a few days.   I am so lonely without my mom, she was my world.  I am trying to live my life as she has told me to, but its not the same without her in it.  I just can't believe its been three months, I look at her picture that I have on my phone and it seems like forever since I saw her or heard her voice.  In my opinion this is the most difficult time that I have ever had in my entire life.......

This year my birthday is on Easter, that is a once in a lifetime event.  My mom would be so happy.  I will go to church and sit in the same spot she did each day.  My heart still aches, but she used to say to me we all have to go home one day......

It's now been six months since I lost my beautiful mother and it still feels like yesterday. There is not a day that goes by where I don't cry and miss her. She was my best friend and I am completely lost and lonely without her. My friends tell me I should go one anti-depressants but I don't want to go this route. She was my world and I don't think trying to numb this with tablets is going to help as I fully expect to feel like this for a long time. She was my whole world so it stands to reason that she would leave a hole this size. All that is getting me through is the hope that I will see her again someday. I find no joy in anything anymore and everything I do reminds my of her as we were always together. I know I don't need her to survive but I miss her so badly that it physically hurts and I find everything difficult without her. The longest I was ever away from my mom was for two weeks and I am 33 years old. I would never change how close we were but I feel like my worlds collapsed because I cant talk to her. I have been on here for a while but I've never written anything before. I know how lucky I am to have had her in my life for so long but I just can't seem to work out what to do now she's gone. What do you do? I am just lost. Everybody thinks Iam coping as I go to work, look after my dad and appear to be ok - they have no idea. I worry about my dad now like a crazy person and I find it hard as I can't talk to him or my brother about my mom as they deal with it differently to me and don't want to.My thoughts go out to all of you because you can never imagine this loss until it happens to you. I am just glad sites like this exist so at least we know we are not alone.  xx  

So this will be the first year of everything without my mom..........

This Sunday, Easter Sunday is my Birthday, without my mom.......

I am catholic and I went to confession the other day and the priest told me it will take seven years to get over the loss of my mom, and he did say the Lord is right beside me everyday.  I believe that and I know my mom and dad are too.

We have all been through different things in life, but in my opinion this is the worst that I have ever had to deal with, an unexpected and sudden loss compared to when my dad passed, he had lung cancer for asbestos exposure, I knew what the end result would be for him, so I felt more prepared, in a way for what was to come so I prayed he would not suffer too much and my prayers were answered.

I cry everyday and I remember my mom when we used to go to the cemetery to her mothers grave who has been deceased for 40 years, my mom would still cry......

I lost my mom on October 8, 2016.  It was until this past week during Spring break that I went to my brother's house to go through all her belongings.  It was really hard for me to see her dresses, skirts, favorite glass, plate, etc.  There was some dirty cloth in a bag.  I took it home to wash and told myself, "I need to wash her clothes.  She needs this clean.  When I finish, I will give her everything back." Well, everything has been washed and just hung in my closet. It is really sad.   When I went through everything, I took her favorite purses, her favorite pair of shoes and other things. I am crying right now while writing. I feel so empty without my mom.  I miss her so much.   Wish she were here with me right now.

Just want to make a correction on the year of the death of my adorable mom. By mistake I wrote October 8, 2016 instead of October 8, 2015.  I love you mom.  I miss you so much.  Still crying.  

Margie, I lost my Mom October 16,2015. I know how you feel. Right now, seeing certain websites or games we used to play together is really hard and I can no longer play them. In some respects, I hurt more now then I did in Nov. and Dec. I just want you to know your not alone. May God bless you and may he ease all our pain.

Hello all. This is my first post on this website. I am really glad I found this site. I have read many posts and find many similarities in how we all feel and grieve. I lost my Mom just about a month ago on Feb. 24, 2016. She has always been my best friend, my rock and my strongest supporter. I could count on her for anything and everything. I cannot remember a single day since teenage years that we ever fought about anything. We truly were best friends. It is really hard to believe that she is really gone. I wonder a lot about where Heaven is. I know she is there but where exactly is Heaven. I find myself looking in cars that I pass on the highway to see if the driver might look like my Mom. I talk to her everyday and tell her I love her. Some days I think I am doing ok and then a thought or a memory creeps in my head and I start to cry again. I miss her so much. Its the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Trying hard to figure out how to live without her in my world. 

Thank you Monica for replying to my post. It is so comforting to hear how others deal with this kind of loss and how feel about certain things. I also have saved voice mails that I listen to and they give me comfort and put a smile on my face but also a lot of tears flow too. Everytime I hear her voice on there it is partly a denial of her being gone but i find myself answering questions out loud and thinking for a split second that I can call her back. It's the most empty feeling ever to realize that no I cannot call her back. I want to call her and share so many things all the time. The smallest little things that I would call her for are the kinds of things that gives me that empty feeling again. There's no one else I can call that can feel that void. And no one that I feel like I can talk to that can help me through those feelings even though I do have many family members and a few friends who would try.  It's just something we have to endure. Thank you for your prayers and your thoughts. I will keep you in mine as well and we will endure silently together. My mom would want me to keep living my life and helping others. 

My mom has been gone 4 mos today. I also listen to her voicemail messages and want to call her and share every little thing. As I read through everyone's posts, I see that all of the feelings and emptiness I have is also felt by others so I guess I am having normal grieving. The comment by Lisa Green could have easily been from me as it is spot on. I'm praying for peace for all.

It been almost four months for me too, I have her voicemails and I cannot bring myself to read them. 

I pray everyday for strength to get through this part of my life.

I miss her so much.....

Rhonda, my mom passed Oct. 2014 and by far the one year anniversary was the hardest date for me thus far. It is the anniversary of the worst day of my life. No celebrating going on there...So I understand what you are feeling. It is rough. 

The holidays are rough for me too. It does bring you down. 

Sounds like your mom was a fighter. I am so sorry for your loss. 

I am sorry everyone.

I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but sometimes I feel like this is surreal.

I watched my dad suffer 16 years ago from asbestos cancer and take his last breath calling my moms name, reaching out for her and now my mom goes in cardiac arrest from a simple visit to the hospital, she was taken suddenly and unexpectedly, I go over and over that day in my head.

I try to remember all the days she said to me you know we all belong to God.  I know in my heart she is happy and at peace, but I used to say to her, but mom those who passed are at peace the ones they left are now suffering.  She would say you have to live your life, I lived mine....Its hard, I cry a lot.

Helen, your story touches me. I was married once to an addict and I learned a lot about the disease of addiction by going to a self help group called Al-anon. I went for 7 years and I found so much peace, hope and answers there. Al-anon is a group of people who live with or love an addict and learn how to not blame ourselves for the addicts actions but still love the addict. Al-anon is nationwide. Google it and go to a meeting. They are anonymous and this group truly kept me from losing my mind. Having that last little bit of time before your Mom passed, is such a blessing. My mom was on a vent for five days and never woke up. I wanted so badly for her to open her eyes and have the ability to communicate with us but it didn't happen. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are able to find peace with your siblings somehow through this process because family is the most important thing especially when we lose one. May God Bless You and all of us who are suffering this incredible pain of grief. 

lost my mum on the third of january earlier this year after a long battle with stroke, its my final year at varsity and everything that i did i just wanted to make her proud being her last born we shared a very special bond and i keep on remembering how she cried in pain and prayed i prayed too everyday beside her but it wasnt enough to save her i wish she could come back .....never felt so much pain so lost and hopeless mama was my everything and i miss her so much just her presence its hard to cope with school work and life .....so sad    

I lost my mum on the 9th November 2015, almost 6 months ago, and I think of her every day of my life, I have flash backs of conversations, being together, her making my favourite dishes.

The hardest part is realising now and not understanding when she needed me most.

I wish I could turn back time.

I lost mine on October 8, 2015.  I agree, Victor, it is really hard to continue living without mom.  I miss her every single day of my life. I feel empty.  Manisha, my mom also cooked my favorite dishes when I visited her.  She enjoyed cooking them for me.  I miss her so much.  I talk to her every day.  I wish she were here right now. Love you mom.   

I'm sorry to see more members. I lost my mom 5 months ago today. I wonder if my siblings count each month as I do. I am not sure where to go visit my mom, part of her is with my dad, and the other part of her was disbursed over a mountain someone in my hometown. It makes it harder for me to recognize the reality of her passing. I know she is gone from this earth because I saw her but my siblings had their idea of what she happened after she passed. I didn't ever think this pain could lead me to a site to divulge my biggest heartache. This pain is huge, most of the time I can't breathe or hear. Tidals waves over and over again. I pray for us all, they say if you want someone to listen to you, to pray. 

I planted a white rosebush in honor of my mom, this was so that I could go talk to her. Helen I'm so sad for you. I am also amazed just how clear you break down every emotion and reason. I agree with you about counseling, there isn't anyone I feel that can begin to touch on my pain, or teach me how to move without my mom. Losing a mom isn't curable or an area that needs repairing. At least that is my thoughts. Only having my mom back in my life can cure what all of us here are forced to live out our lives with...without our moms. I had a friend tell me that I should be happy for the time I had my mom, that I'm a grandmother now. I couldn't believe she could say these types of things, because although I was blessed to have my mom for 57 years, in no way makes it easier to have lost her. Why can't people stop putting a number to love and grief. My mother was in my life daily and in my kids and their kids lives. She was everywhere and people say because of how bug our family is my mom lives forever, but with what I have suffered through since my mom passed, family for me is the last to be here for me to lean on, death life insurance changes people and it surely in my case, they changed for the worse. I'm so hurt  

i feel exactly that Margie missing the part when she needed you the most and didnt realise it 

Manisha

I wish I could turn back time too, I feel like I should have spent more of my days off from work with my mom, not running errands.

Thank you Monica...I know people say things that they think they should say without really knowing what I feel. Like so many comments here I read where their mom's cried for their own mother's and I too experienced that with my mom. She would make sure her mom always had flowers on her grave for my nana's bday, Christmas etc. I remember crying softly, and looking at me and telling me that she hoped I would never have to feel empty like she did...I really never thought my mom would ever die...She turned 81 in November and she lived two weeks longer after that. Knowing how sick she was, I never believed it result in her really dying. She had leukemia. She would get so sad each time she saw those St. Jude commercials and tell me how blessed we all were for not having this in our lives...we never saw her diagnosis coming...I can't watch those commercials at all...then I feel guilty not watching or donating to those children...I do give to organizations like the cancer society for my dad's honor, he died from cancer...I know we need to help so many people when we can, and it makes my guilt even bigger. Some people actually think that I use my mother's death as an excuse to cry and stay home...they can't be further from the truth, my mom's passing is every reason for not being able to participate in every day events...I want to be happy and live my life with happiness but most days I don't how I can ever be happy...my mom would want me to be happy...I get that, just like I have the same desire for my own...my mom was the one who really completed the circle of my life. I worked for the Juvenile courts where children were taken from their parents...today I don't understand how any mother could jeopardize their children, because I truly recognize the sacrifices and the power of a mom's love and the impact a good mother has on her children...I was blessed to have my mom...most of us here are...I tell whomever will listen to spend as much time as they can...because yesterday won't come again..I miss my mom...more and more each day...

I light a candle in front of my moms picture every night without fail, and I tell her I love her and miss her, I hope she knows.........