I'm losing someone to cancer, my cousin Lou is terminal. I have talked about him before. He has a great attitude and will live life to the fullest as long as he can. His words, not mine. He plans on coming to visit me if he can. He wants to ride his motorcycle around Orlando.

As some of you know, my husband had colorectal cancer 2 yrs ago. Well now he is having problems with his liver. At this point we don’t know what is wrong. His liver panels are coming back each month higher and higher. He has to go see a specialist. It could be the cancer coming back, damage from the chemo, they just don’t know at this point. We can’t get in to see the specialist for over a month. Diana I am sending you lots of (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))).

I lost Father in law to Brain Cancer in 1991 -
My father to Stomach Cancer in 2002.
And a very young 16 yr old friend is fighting to survive and loosing his fight with brain cancer that has left him blind since he was 2yrs old.
I am really heartbroken for him & his family - as some of you know I am suffering loosing my 16yr old son in 07 to an accident. I so want to help him & his family but- know all too well I cant help. And that is very very hard & heartbreaking.

I lost me dear sweet sister a year and a half ago to breast cancer. She was only 43. She was my best friend I mean really my best friend. I talked to her everyday and saw her all the time. She only live an hour and a half from me. I am not over her death. It's getting harder instead of easier. I cry everyday and re-live her last 6 weeks in the hospital like it was happening now. I never really got to say anything to her because her cancer went to her brain and caused siezures over night. She went on medication immediately and I never had "my" sister after that. She was in a drugged state for the last 6 weeks of her life. I want her back. I need to know if she is ok and out of pain. I need to hug and kiss her one more time and tell her how sorry I am that I didn't take better care of her.

Lauren I know what you mean, when Mom was dying she had a mini stoke and could talk or communticate, she went very fast and I feel I didn't take good enough care of her. Because I wasn't her real daughter her family tried to shut me out. If only all of us could have that last hug, but that wouldn't be enough. To everyone out there (((((hugs)))))))

You know in your heart that you were close enough to being her real daughter. And your Mom knows you were there.

I went to every Dr's appt, surgery and chemo with my sister, but we didn't know how "Bad" it was because my sister never wanted to know, therefore we really didn't know the end was coming. I just wish her Dr. said "screw this hipa law" and told us. I would have done so much more and I would have cherrished the little time we had. One week before going into the hospital, the last time, my family, my sister and her husband went to the Jersey shore and had a GREAT weekend. She was great! We played miniture golf, went out to dinner, went to the beach and then not even 6 days later she was having seizures and then she was gone.

At least you have that memory to hang onto Lauren. Try to remember she is at peace now, no more pain, no more seizures. It's us, the ones left behind that have to deal with the loss and pain. I have also lost my daughter and It does get better but it takes a great amount of time. Please know that all of us on this web site are here to help you. You can write me anytime you want to vent or cry. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

We lost our son Chris Oct. 3, 07 to non Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was about 2 years ago that things were starting to go very bad. He was loved by so many friends and family. It's still hard to believe he had cancer let alone that he died.

Rodney I am sorry to hear about your son. When we lost our daughter I came to this site and it has helped me find some peace. I have also found some very special friends. I hope it will do the same for you. Gods blessings to you and your family. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))

It doesn't seem to get better. Here it is 12:47am and all I can think about is Tracey. I miss her so much it hurts so bad. I really want to see her again and I really want to go back to just before she went into the hospital the last time. I would do so many things different.

June 3rd 1985 my dad passed away from cancer
June 3rd 1993 my grandma passed away
june 18th 2008 i lost my mom to cancer. June 27th is her birthday.
when my dad died when i was 15 it was just my mom and i.
She was my mom but she also was my best friend.
i feel like someone ripped out my heart.

my husband and i took care of her the 5 months she was sick. And we live in the same house. Its hard for me to go in her bedroom. I get overwhelming sense of sadness.
I dont feel her around me and it scares me. She wrote me letters and put them everywhere in the house and she always put have faith and hope.
but its really hard.
I get told as time goes on it gets easier but I dont feel that way.
i miss her sooo much.

I lost my mother to Bial Duct cancer in October 2008. It has been very difficult for the whole family. Cancer is so terrible. No one is immune it seems.

my husband will be forever etched in my heart...

I lost my youngest son Jacob to AML ( Leukaemia) on the 16th June 2005
1 day before his 14th Birthday
He faught so hard to stay with us and is missed with every beat of my heart
My Jake was such a strong person that taught us so many lessons in his short almost 14 years
I'm so sorry for everyones loss from the cancer monster
with Love Jacob's mum

My husband has been on my mind so much the last couple of days, the tears are just flowing. CANCER SUCKS.............

I just lost a wonderful friend to cancer on July 4th 2009. The first day so far has sucked. I don't know what I am going to do without him!

i lost my papaw 10-20-08, my nana 12-4-08 and my mom 6-8-09....

I lost my daughter to AML on 05/21/2009. She worked so hard to beat it and went to Heaven to be with Jesus. She would have been 12 years old on July 22. I miss her so very much. The days are getting so much harder.

Michelle, I'm so sorry. I wish that no other parents have to be in this lousy club.

Michelle my heart goes out to you. Birthdays are one of the hardest days to get through. Your pain is so new. I'm glad you found this site and hope you will really use it. Write lots and often. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Dear Michelle
sending you love and hugs as your ^i^Sarah's birthday approaches
may you have a peaceful day full of love and memories of much happier times
I have a candle burning for her on the leukaema angel's candle page http://nshrine.com/shrine/LeukaemiaAngels
Love Jacob's mum
"leukaemia Sux!" www.caringbridge.org/me/jacob

I lost my beautiful Mom and best friend on July 25, 2008. Life without her is a battle for me everyday. I miss her so much!!

As we get ready to move on to another month, I just wanted everyone to know that I am thinking of you all. Even though we may not be having the brightest of days, we are here and there is hope. Someday the sun will shine again. The birds will sing. Until then my thoughts and prayers are with you all. God Bless

It's been nine months since my mother died of cancer. Everyone keeps saying that time heals, but I think it's getting worse. Now that it's not busy it seems it has all hit me harder. I miss my parents so much it still really hurts.

Debbie, I don't think that the pain ever goes away. It does lessen with time. Nine months isn't very long. People asked me how do you do? I think at first we are so numb we just go through the motions. But the numbness wears off after awhile and we are faced with grief, some of us alone. I'm glad you found this site. I hope it helps you in your grief. God Bless and ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

Cancer SUCKS!! I lost my mom 12/30/08, and the PAIN is so bad. I dont go a day without thinking of her. How in the world do people go on without their moms?? She was more then my mom, she was my best friend and I loved her so much. Im soo angry and I dont know how to get over my anger. I have never felt as sad as I do now. I had a stillborn son 3/30/99, that was HORRIBLE...I lost my dad 11/8/02, that was HORRIBLE....nothing compares to the void I feel now without mom.

My pain is new to me to. I have never felt this pain before and its hard to go on feeling it. People say time heals all. I dont really agree. I dont think i will ever be healed from this pain

Angela, I am so sorry for your loss. I do know what you are talking about. It's a phyical pain in your heart. But time does help, it's just that it takes a lot of time. You are in my prayers. God bless

Thank you for your support. This pain is like a heart attack that never goes away

I lost my grandma to breast cancer, my grandpa to colon cancer and my sweet dad to colon in Feb 2005. It is a heartache that never heals. Does anybody feel like they are alone on this planet? I feel so lost without my family, they are all gone now. If I have to live the rest of my life with this sorrow, why bother? However, I believe all things happen for a reason and my loved ones are with God but still when the heart ache comes it is so..........deep!

You have definately been through a lot so it is understandable why you are feeling so much pain...Im so sorry for all of your losses and hope the pain you are feeling starts to become a little more bearable

Thanks you are so kind. I guess I have endured alot but with kind people like i have met here and you, it really helps. One day at a time right.

Thanks...I definately have good days and bad days. Ever since my mother was diagnosed, my emotions have been up and down and I feel like Im on an emotional rollercoaster at times. Each day is different and I, like you, have learned to take things one day at a time.

When I feel happy then it turns to guilt, how can I be happy when my mom has just died. But I know that she always wanted me to be happy. I am taking some medication and it helping keeping me more stable, so i feel good today. Though I had a tooth pulled and it hurts! I will be better tomorrow. How are you doing?