On the 5th November 2021 my soulmate and husband of 10 years passed away from his cancer of an unknown primary.  They never did find where it came from.   I live alone and despite having friends visit and those who help me on my acreage, life is lonely.  This was our second marriage.  Pete nursed his first wife through cancer and my first husband took his own life, so we were both aware what grief was all about.  Pete fought his cancer for 5 years until it finally went into his liver.   He passed away here at home and it was such an honour and privilege to be there for him until the end.  I miss him every day, my heart is broken.  Thank you for listening.

Dear Cindy B,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Even though it has been six years for you since your beloved husband Adam passed, you feel his loss as if it was yesterday. For me, it will be eight years on August 4th that my darling husband Joseph passed, also due to lung cancer. Even after all this time, there are days when the pain feels fresh. Some days it is okay; I can get through the day fine without feeling too sad or depressed. But some days--like today--I am overcome with grief and depression. So I can fully relate to the heartache that you carry around. And marker days like birthdays and anniversaries are the worst.

I don't have any word of advice to offer to you on how to overcome the harrowing pain that so many of us on this forum feel years after our spouse left this planet. All I can say is that you have come to the right grief forum where the folks are sympathetic and understand what the loss of a beloved spouse is like. 

For all others who are not in the same boat as I am, like my family and friends, I put on a happy face and go along with them when they are laughing and having a good time. Even as I am laughing with them, there is an emptiness, a hollow feeling in my heart. But here, no one's going to judge you for mourning your loss and urge you to move on. I understand; we understand.

Hang in there, and try to find solace in the happy memories you have of your husband.

Sending you best wishes, love and empathy.

-- Trina

i hate big c its took frinds famly coz of it