For all of you with babies, that would be so hard.

Yesterday...I cleaned out my kitchen draws!  Had only been looking at them for ten months whilst retiring back to bed.

I did it!  That one small task meant that I was back.

We all have had the most tragic events, and some more than others..  We were brave before, during, and after...and death is not  going to take what we already had. 

I know it seem like a strange question but does this loss at times feel like a gift?

What  we are missing is still here, the moment you open your eyes in the morning (before you remember and cry), the question that you have over and over in your mind... the last words  that you would have said to them (and I am starting to believe that they knew what we wanted to say, and understood).

I think about him, my lovely Dave, a thousand times a day.  I cleaned the draws, felt proud and strong, got in the car to take our two dogs for a walk, and then just broke for a bit.

I just wanted to hold his hand.