I lost my oldest son on Oct. 21, 2014. He was shot multiple times and then thrown out of the car onto the street and was left lying there. My heart feels as though it has  completely been ripped out. I still feel completely numb and although I know he is gone I have moments where it all still seems so unreal. He is my baby and I can't believe because another human being felt it was ok to take his life that I will never see or talk to him again. He was a beautiful young man with a wonderful heart. We had our rough times but were always there for each other. The hurt, loss, anger that I feel I can't even begin to explain and I feel alone. I am blessed w/two other children but am trying to stay strong because they are hurting so much. I had 26 wonderful years with him but was suppose to be able to have the rest of my life with him. I miss him.