Feeling Numb

I lost my boyfriend a month ago to a car accident in India while he was visiting his family for the holidays. I never got to say goodbye or anything once the family accepted the body they quickly cremated him. I close my eyes and every moment we spent together from the first date up until the last time I seen him replays over and over in my mental. I feel so numb and detached I don't know how I'm feeling and the tears just comes uncontrollable. He was my world my smile was because of him he gave me peace we were so different and yet we fit together so perfect he's gone and now it's like I'm here but I feel like I've checked out emotionally and spiritually. 

Tags: lost, missingmyking, numb

Views: 211

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amy Barnhart on January 12, 2015 at 1:32pm
I'm so sorry Tiffany. I lost my husband and house in a fire and I feel like if I went to the house he would still be there. I went through the funeral so I can't imagine how surreal it is for you.
Permalink Reply by Tiffany on January 12, 2015 at 1:36pm

thank you I'm sorry for your lost as well I just don't know anymore 

Permalink Reply by Tiffany on January 12, 2015 at 2:25pm

Thank you Mrs. Barbara, how do you manage day after day if you don't mind me asking. Most nights I've just cried myself to sleep and when it's day I don't want to wake up. I'm sorry for your lost as well

Permalink Reply by Tiffany on January 12, 2015 at 3:17pm

It is very hard to talk to my family as well because that is the same response I get. What makes it hard is that we had to be so discreet with our relationship because of some of his family members  so only a few people knew about us and even with that we never gave up on each other. I was looking forward to this year with him marriage and children and now I desire neither and I don't know if that's even normal for me to feel because I love children and I was very excited about being a wife 

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on January 12, 2015 at 2:40pm

yep i no numb fealing iv bean lk it on/off sinse 2012 after my dad died thn loss non stop

sorry for yore loss tiffany

Permalink Reply by Tiffany on January 12, 2015 at 2:42pm

thank you I'm sorry for you lose too... I'm not use to feeling this numb before and it just seems like it will never go away 

Permalink Reply by Karen W. on January 12, 2015 at 5:19pm

Hi Tiffany, am so sorry for your sudden loss and especially not being able to say goodbye.

when we lost our daughter some people suggested we save money and just have a memorial instead, but to me it is so important to hold one for the living in order to say our goodbyes.

is there a way for you to hold a memorial of some kind for him in order to help give you that part of closure?

Permalink Reply by Tiffany on January 12, 2015 at 5:23pm

Thank you Mrs. Karen and I'm sorry for the lost of your daughter, I order some sky lanterns to do a memorial for him at the lake

Permalink Reply by JLL on February 16, 2015 at 12:52pm

I am so very sorry for the deep loss you have experienced Tiffany! I lost my mom in a fire that left basically nothing behind and the pain of not being able to say goodbye is devastating; I understand that type of pain...I was wondering where do you get sky lanterns and does a person need permission to release them? Again, I am so very sorry...The 'love of my life' died in 2006 and I was omitted from all but sitting with a crowd of people in a back aisle.. I know that pain too unfortunately.. My thoughts are with you.

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