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Comment by Rodney Reinhardt on July 11, 2010 at 8:18pm

It's been a while since I have posted here. Welcome to all the new members, sorry you have need to be in this forum. It's been a little over 33 months since our son Chris lost his battle with non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He died the day before his 19th birthday. We miss him everyday, but we also go on with our lives. My wife and I were talking about this earlier today. In the beginning we spend every moment thinking about Chris. Now as we have gone further down the road of gried we don't spend every minute missing Chris, but we spend time everyday thinking about him, and sometimes the memories are plesant and we smile. Other times we think of the hard times when he was sick, and the courage that he showed dealing with his illness. In those times we cry and we allow ourselves to grieve. I hope that all of you find the support you need on this forum.
Rod

Comment by Dee Davis on July 11, 2010 at 1:58pm

Janis Shapiro,so grateful for your friendship. Our babies have a new body now with no handicapps. They are playing with our family that was waiting for them.Write me soon DEE

Comment by Dee Davis on July 11, 2010 at 1:53pm

Paula I hope you got my note to you, and i hope it encourages you. God bless you DEE

Comment by Stephanie on July 10, 2010 at 1:47pm

hi dee, i;m jan. i lost my 12 year old daughter Jessy, 2 years ago. she also had Cerebral Palsy. i know i know i promise you i know. please write me. you can also find me on facebook at: janice damelin shapiro. lots of love and strength

Comment by paula ingalls on July 10, 2010 at 6:32am

dee my name is paula i lost my son in 09 he was 29, i too have always been looking for some one to talk to . i need a friend to feel close to that like the others in group know, but i have always thought i needed more of aone on one i know how you feel, my pyaters are with you paula

Comment by coachlouise on June 18, 2010 at 8:04pm

This is only natural, it is too big to process all at once, which is why they call this time the dark night of the soul. This is not weird what you are feeling, or thinking, your daily thoughts. Oh, if only we could go back in time is the direction I wanted to go in, however, I have found the light in the dark, I think you will to. Keep sharing your feelings, you have to heal in order to heal. Coach Louise

Comment by Laura Villarreal on June 18, 2010 at 7:04pm

Hello Everyone...it's been awhile since I have posted my thoughts as I have been trying to put some of them into perspective. It has been just over a year since my daughter Angela died and find myself wondering how it is I have not lost my sanity. My grief has been woven into my daily thoughts, my daily living. Everyday I wake up and my first thought is "she's really gone". Or "my daughter is dead". Or "why did she have to die". Or "what really happened that day"....I could go on and on. These thoughts are with me all day long until I fall asleep and then the cycle continues. These "thoughts" do not interfere with my daily life...they are my life. While I function day to day these thoughts are always present, just like the air we breath. They do not consume me but always floating around in my head...I can be carrying on a conversation with someone but somewhere in my head I am very aware of those thoughts/questions but am fully engrossed in the conversation! Like my brain has created this small room within itself to specifically deal with the loss of my daughter. Weird, I know...
Take care, everyone, and know that without this group my grieving process would be a thousand times more difficult to endure.
Warmest Regards,
Laura

Comment by Ann Edmondson on June 3, 2010 at 5:47pm

Karen -- as Gail said we all need to vent our anger sometimes. For me today is one of those days. I was talking with a friend who innocently said (I hope innocently any way) that I should be getting back to my old self by now. (I was having one of my crying because I miss my son days). I was so astounded I just looked at her and walked off. Then my poor husband catches the wrath when I get home from work and he says I look tired. Boy talk about a bummer day........ well, anyway thanks for letting me rant today. I hope tomorrow will be better. {{{HUGS TO ALL}}}

Comment by coachlouise on June 3, 2010 at 3:51pm

I don't know how I was could wake up another day, with out having an invisible relationship with my son. Even so I slide up and down the emotional journey of missing his physical being which was so alive in my world. I can only touch the past for brief time. If I stay there it leads me to deep pain. It is hard to digest loss, my digestion has not been the same since. However when I spend time bridging our new relationship, it has given me so many little gifts. Like having a relationship with God you have to trust it. It does just not happen because you say you believe, you have to spend time nurturing it. Like the way prayer has the ability to opens doors. Paying attention to the signs of nature, your dreams, a song on the radio, will open the pathway for your new relationship. All relationships take time to build. I could be just fooling myself this is true, however it feels better than giving up to loss until I die. Maybe this is my way of staying busy. I share my journey with you to offer you hope, no judgment, that is the last thing we need. may you all know I send you my love, and hope you will be able to be as free in expressing with me,your journey. There is no right and wrong, we are simply all learning from eachother. I send you hugs, Louise

Comment by Gail Richardson on June 2, 2010 at 4:00pm

Guys - what can I tell you - I've been keeping myself busy for nine years but as Wendy says, you can keep your mind happy for a while but your heart never stops aching.
Karen - this is exactly the place to be venting your anger and don't worry about shattering our faith - I'm pretty sure each one of feels that too. I always try to stay positive but sometimes its just so damn hard! If you ever want to chat off group just email me hun!!
Sending hugs to each of us tonight
Gail xx

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