Comment

Comment by Karen R. on August 3, 2011 at 9:13pm

Hello Lorie and Bobbi, I am still reluctant to look at some of my son's things too and I would NEVER part with them. I still had so many plans for my son and he is 21yrs old. I get angry that I will never be able to congratulate him on achieving goals he set for himself, I cant dance with him at his wedding and can't see him in action as a father, I won't be able to tell his children any funny or embarrassing stories about him. I won't be able to see him become the man that I always hoped that he would be. He was only a baby to me and will always be my baby. He had a life and he was robbed of it. No matter how old your child is, you NEVER want to have to bury them, even if you lose them in our womb. I want my son back, I want my life back!     Thanks.

Comment by Lorie Dunn on August 3, 2011 at 8:41pm

Bobbi, Every day seems to bring a different emotion.  It has been over a year and a half since Hunter's death and I still cannot bring myself to look at home videos or go through his things that I have here.  (He lived with his dad, so I don't have alot of his personal things). I hope that your day goes better tomorrow. I also understand what you are saying about plans for the future. I have also noticed since Hunter's death, that I cannot remember things well at all.Do you have that problem?  I haven't looked at Hunter's baby book.  I'm just not ready for any of that yet. 

Comment by Bobbi Durbin on August 3, 2011 at 7:59pm

Lorie,  Today I had the same kind of day you had yesterday.  Been on the verge of tears all day.  I usually make it to my car after work.  Been nearly 2 months.  Seems like forever ago and yesterday all at the same time.   Yesterday I was cleaning up in my sewing room and thought I'd go thru some of Derricks things.  Somehow I never got to that.  I'm finding that a hard part of this is that I always had some sort of a plan for the future.  But now I don't know what the new plan is.  I don't know what to do with his baby book.  Of course I'll keep it forever but what then, when I'm gone....  I'm just frantic trying to figure out a plan with out my sweet boy. 

Comment by Lisa Adams on August 3, 2011 at 7:19am

So, the past few days have been really good.  And then last night the nightmares came back.  I hate that because waking up from dreams like that just put a shadow over the whole day.  Especially when I wake up crying.  Guess today will be one of those days when I have to work extra hard to overcome, or just give in and let the pain swallow me for awhile. 

Comment by Karen R. on August 2, 2011 at 8:49pm

Greetings Debbie, I am sorry for the loss of your loved one. Just as Ann mentioned, we are all here for you, unfortunately, we all understand all to well such tremendous losses. I hope you continue to reach out, there are many forums/groups on this site. For me, it's so important for my feelings and my thoughts to be validated and NOT judged and who better to do that than someone that has walked in my shoes.

Comment by Karen R. on August 2, 2011 at 8:44pm

Hello Lorie, I know how you are feeling. That word "FUNCTION" doesnt mean the same to me like it did before the loss of my son. Keep talking about your son, one of us here will surely listen. I, too, am still waiting for this nightmare to be over with. I prefer to be alone when I am crying also. This is too much to bare.

Comment by Ann Edmondson on August 2, 2011 at 8:35pm

Debbie -- tell us about your loss. That will help us help you. We are here for you. Many of us just barely cope on a minute by minute basis. Some of us make it a few days before a melt down occurs and we have to cry for a while. So how can we help?

Comment by debbie larson on August 2, 2011 at 7:56pm

Hi,

 

I guess I don't know where to go to start talking with different people, someone help.. so I can start my search for groups and people. thanks

Comment by Lorie Dunn on August 1, 2011 at 9:29pm

i havent been on this site in probably a year.  My son died 12-26-09.  Still not a day goes without me thinking of Hunter.  I still talk about him every day. Some days I think this has to be a dream (nightmare) and I will surely wake up soon. Some days (like today) I dont hold it together too well.  I have went back to work..I have learned to "function" again. But some days (like today) I cannot wait to get home so I can be alone and cry myself to sleep.

Comment by Karen R. on August 1, 2011 at 3:33pm

Thank you Ammy for your support.

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