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Comment by Grace on December 7, 2011 at 11:44am

Maybe we start another disscussion on will a relationship survive the death of a child.?

Comment by Grace on December 7, 2011 at 11:43am

Lisa.... I have felt alone in my grief even with my husband.... Our Marriage has suffered through this pain and there are days where I don't know if it will survive.

This seems to be a time in one's life when we see who we really are and how much of a priority we are for the significant other.....   I told my husband to think of that song from the 70"s   "You Left Me... Just When I Needed You Most"

For years I have felt taken for granted and now I am crying out with NEED and I have felt very alone... this past year has been very difficult.

I am soooo sorry you are having this experience now.... This whole grief crap sucks....  But it can also enlighten you to re evaluate who is important in your life too....  Hugs

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on December 7, 2011 at 10:09am

Lisa it is a difficult time for you to have support a boyfriend emotionally.  I can imagine how hard it is to be alone right now after losing your child.  However, I can't imagine grieving with a whole lot of other stress at the same time.  I have stress.  My work and other grown kids and grandkids.  Just the stress of trying not to frighten them by my depression.  But to endure an emotional stress in a relationship right now would be more than one could handle.  I pray for you that you will find the courage to go forward without him.  You need all the support you can get right now.  Don't allow anyone to make this more difficult than it is.  This is the most pain one could endure.  We will all either all make it out of this somehow stronger, or we will endure a life of extreme hardship bounded by pain and depression.  I'm afraid of both as neither seems to be acceptable without my son.  I plan on doing what God want's for me, watching for all the signs no matter how difficult.  Because I want to see my son again and I know you want to see your child again.  Regardless if we know the truth, this is a faith issue and I am going to gamble in his favor.  I pray the same for you.  Be good to you.  You have gone through enough.  

Comment by Lisa Adams on December 7, 2011 at 8:16am

ok, I know this isnt really the place to deal with this but I literally have no where else to turn.  Last night my idiot boyfriend announces that he's leaving me.  Really? Thanks, as if Christmas wasn't going to be hard enough for me! He's been less than supportive through this whole thing and this "club" that he belongs to has turned him into a giant asshole. So, I know, in the long run I'll be better off without him but how heartless can one human be? And how many times can my heart be broken?

Comment by Lorraine on December 5, 2011 at 8:55pm

thank you Karen, I think it is important to remember also that people's beliefs may change or their faith may be shaken after losing a child.  I know that I have struggled.  I do believe that Sy's spirit has carried on, but I can't pray, even as I respect others beliefs.  So thank you for putting that out here my friend.

Comment by Kar on December 5, 2011 at 5:03pm

* A GENTLE REMINDER ...  As the holidays en-circle us ---    

If your spiritual that is wonderful but,  you do not have to even believe in GOD to be welcome here.    So please respect others & keep preaching to a minimum.    "everyone grieving deserves comfortable place to come".     

Comment by Robin Jone on December 4, 2011 at 10:34pm

Adrianne, I know how you feel. It has just been three months. Zach was in a couple of bands, and his friends are putting on a Tribute to him this Saturday. They have been wonderful, I don't know what we would have done without them. It is going to be so hard though to go here them play and Zach not be there with them. The 16th is Zach's birthday, he would have been 24, it just isn't right. Last year we all spent the week before Christmas together at the mountains, we were planning on doing it again this year. The day of Zach's accident my husband was getting ready to mail our deposit for our trip. Of course we are not going. I just look at our pictures from last year, and wish so badly I could just rewind and we could all be there together again. Your son sounds like he was a really good guy, I am so sorry for your loss. I don't understand why any of us have to go through this. You will be in my prayers, you are not alone. Robin

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on December 4, 2011 at 9:15pm

It hasn't been four months yet.  I can't do this Christmas thing.  I have two other adult kids and 4 grandkids and I feel so badly that I feel this way.  I miss my son.  He did Christmas with me.  Every year we went and bought a real tree.  He would get the boxes out and truck them up from the storage house to the house.  We live in the mountains so often it would be snowing.  He did a lot of shopping with me and loved Christmas like I do.  Or did anyway.  He was my wing man.  Cleaned up after the girls and the kids and never complained.  Last year we bought an artificial tree. Even though he didn't like that he helped me.  I said I wouldn't ever buy one, but it is so cold up here that the heat is on always and the tree would dry out too fast.  He packed it up and put it away and we talked about the next year.  Well, it's the next year and I can't do this without him.  I'm more than sad and heartbroken.  And, I know you all understand that feeling.  

Comment by Frances Cope on December 4, 2011 at 6:11pm

Love my friends here.  Y'all take care and prayers things will be better someday.  Maybe we can put a Christmas tree this year, could not do a thing in 2010.

Comment by Kar on December 4, 2011 at 5:28pm

Dick,    What a touching tribute the video of Daniel is.     He is so handsome and looks to be a real character,  love his smile.  Thanks for sharing him with us.

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