Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
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Latest Activity: Feb 24
Started by Kar. Last reply by Julie McKinney Jan 17, 2022.
Started by Kar. Last reply by Robert Matthews Mar 11, 2018.
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I am looking at my Internet Browser favourite pull down menu. This URL and some others related are under POPULAR. It just does not seem right; I am going to create another folder for them, NECESSARY. POPULAR just does not feel right.
Funny? How sensitive to little things I have become.
Is life just a collection of disappointments interspersed with a couple of happy moments? I had little disappointments before, shake it off; get back into the game. Danny missing is the 800 lb. gorilla in the room.
Can't believe it has been four months since my Zach's accident and death. I haven't been on here in a few days and I am so sorry to read about everyones pain. Dick, I know how you feel about the what ifs, or I wish I would have done this or said that. I do that wishing I would have told Zach more often how proud I was of him. I wish I would have spent more time with him. My husband stops me though and says he was 23, he had his own life and was doing what 23 year olds do. He was just starting to want to spend more time with us. I would see him every Saturday because we worked together on Saturdays, the day of his accident was a Saturday was we were not together. I used to look forward to Saturdays now I dread them because I always think about his accident. I still don't think I totally have accepted his death and that he will never walk through our front door again. I am always looking for some kind of sign to let me know that he is okay. I may not be getting the kind of signs I want, so may be missing them. When my brother died 18 years ago there was a message on a sign outside a church about if you are having trouble dealing with grief, I started attending that church regularly. It was like the pastor there was talking directly to me, found out later that he had lost his brother several months earlier. That pastor took a break from preaching for several years. A couple of days before Christmas Eve, my husband was driving down the road and saw someone hanging up a sign for a new church starting. It was the pastor who preached when my brother died, he was beginning a new church for people at a crossroads in their lives. My husband stopped and talked to him, he had not heard of Zach's death, and he told my husband that he would be having on service on Christmas Eve. Maybe that was not the kind of sign of was looking for, but when I look back now I definitely think God was trying to give me some kind of sign. I too get the feelings of sometimes I can't breathe because the pain is so bad. I know I will never be the person that I was before Zach died, but I am chosing to somehow survive this for my other children at least for today. I can do this for one day, I try not to think about tomorrow. You are all in my hearts and prayers. Robin
Adrianne, I have read "Many Lives, Many Masters" by Brian Weiss and it gave me comfort; it is written by a psychiatrist who did not believe in past life, but was given much reason to believe; so it is scientific in a way, which I like. I do think whatever brings comfort, be it Compassionate Friends meetings, online support, mediums, church, books on the afterlife or holding onto your child's belongings; this should be respected and treasured as a moment of peace is so hard to find some days.
No I just say that you may have been praying to go to Ft Collins but Gods Un answered Prayer for you was to Put your Wife in the place she needed to be so you would meet her and have a wonderful Love and Marriage and family.... You were praying for YOUR Plan but God had another Plan for you...... Even though right now you are missing your Danny... just remember how full your life has grown because God unanswered your prayer and gave you the Love of your wife and children..... you would not have had this broken heart... but then again you would not have had this Love either...This was Gods Greatest Gift to you....
@Grace, Are you saying my going to Ft. Collins may have produced something even more terrible? I just cannot imagine what that could have been seeing where I am in life.
'S Some of Gods greatest Gifts are Unanswered Prayers"
@Grace, don't take me wrong I love my wife and kids; they just were not part of my original life plan. I was headed to Ft. Collins, Co. for Graduate School when I met my wife. Funny how life works out?
Physical symptoms of severe stress
1. Headaches, dizziness, neck ache, back pain,
2. High blood pressure, chest pain, palpitations,
3. Heart Disease, Beware of the heart attack symptoms!
4. Frequent colds, infections,
5. Rashes, itches, hives,
6. Fatigue and constant tiredness,
7. Frequent stomach pain and heart burn.
Funny, only #6 applies.
Psychological Effects of stress
1. Anxiety and nervousness,
2. Insomnia, nightmares, bad dreams,
3. Difficulty in concentrating,
4. Difficulty in decision making,
5. Irritability, anger bouts,
6. Feeling of loneliness and worthlessness.
Yep, I got all except #4 & #5. I used to not dream; my friends just say I don't remember them before. I got them now; funny thing they are never about Danny? #6 is the worst.
Behavioral Signs of Stress
1. Social withdrawal and isolation,
2. Increase in alcohol consumption, smoking or taking drugs,
3. Excessive gambling,
4. Excessive activities like exercise and buying,
5. Loss of interest in appearance,
6. Neglect of punctuality,
7. Not taking interest in work, not feeling motivated to do anything.
8. Not sharing thoughts with others, and decrease in social interaction.
Yep, I got everyone of them except #2 & #3. #5 is not that I am not bathing & shaving; but I used to be a Clothes Horse, now it's a pair of jeans & a sweater/hoodie.
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