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Comment by Sandy Hendrix on November 24, 2015 at 1:38pm

Robin, that is such great advice.  I'm only just past my first year, but I feel like you do, that you have to make the decision that you can survive it and try to be strong or you give up. I don't want to give up, I have a beautiful daughter that I'm so blessed to have. I miss my son every minute and every second of every day and I am also not the same person. I am broken and missing a part of me but I am trying and yes some days are very hard and I cry a lot and some of them are ok. This site helps me too cus we see that we are not alone in our grief. 

Nadin, I am so very very sorry to have to welcome you here. It's a horrible road we are on and only us know our pain. Nobody understands but us. You are still in shock and that pain is all consuming.  I'm so extremely sorry.

Many hugs for us all.

Comment by kim on November 24, 2015 at 7:28am

Nadin, im so very sorry, we do know your pain , you are in my prayers 

Comment by Robin Jone on November 24, 2015 at 7:19am

I lost my son, Zach, on September 3, 2011 in a tragic accident. He was hiking on a trail with friends and got to close to the edge of a waterfall and fell. He was only 23 years old, gone way too soon. I have not been on this site for quite some time, but it helped me so much in my early days of grief. I do want to say that for me, in time it has gotten easier. There are still days that the grief will hit me just as hard as the day it happened. Like someone has punched me in the heart and taken a large piece of me and left a hole that will never be filled. I will never be the same person I was before that most horrible day of my life. One thing that has helped me in these years of pain and grief, is that I have found that when I am having one of those days I stop and remember that I have felt this way before, and have made it through. To just take it one day, some times one second at a time. A friend of mine told me in those early days of grief, (she only child/son was murdered over 10 years ago) that she had to make a decision in her grief. She could either choose to let it take her, or she could choose to survive it. I am blessed to have a husband, three daughters and 2 granddaughters, I decided to survive this grief. Some days are still so difficult and painful, and I am not sure at the time that I want to, but I know I want to still be here for my family. Reaching out to others who are fresh in their grief, has helped me tremendously too. We are not alone and I want to thank all who have been there for me. I want to be here for others. Those who have not lost a child don't get it, we do. There is no time line, no right way, we do the best we can one second at a time. My hugs and prayers for us all.

Comment by Teresa D. on November 24, 2015 at 6:26am

Nadin, my heart goes out to you during this difficult time.  There's nothing I can say right now to help ease your pain.  All I can do is let you know we know the pain you are experiencing and we will do what we can to support you.  HUGS!

Comment by Nadin on November 23, 2015 at 7:02pm

I lost my daughter 4 days ago. She took her life with 18. I was screaming and crying all those days but now I'm so empty and disorganized and I don't know how to go through my day. I wish when I wake up that it's already night to go to sleep again because that's the only time when nothing hurts anymore. It hurts just so badly.........

Comment by kim on November 22, 2015 at 3:16pm

i know in the states you are all having your thanks giving, we had ours in October, to me the holidays are just another painfull day.  we do nothing those days anymore. more and more I just stay in my bedroom and cry. when my son shawn went away I died that  day to, I will pray for all of you and hope you all get through that day.  hugs to you all   

Comment by Jill E on November 22, 2015 at 8:22am

I totally agree. I don't know what I would do without you all.

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 22, 2015 at 8:13am

child's death is so deeply felt. I will say a prayer for your son. Love to everyone here. Your words of support saved me so often from going over the edge. What an incredible group of woman you all are.  

Comment by Lynn Williams on November 22, 2015 at 8:09am

It is still so hard to go through the holiday season. It will be the third Thanksgiving without Kyra. I find myself still not fully believing she is dead. Our friends who have opened there hearts to us have again invited us to dinner on Thanksgiving. I hope we can all find some solace and peace to get through this time of year. Love and prayers to Connie and Michelle as another year passes without your sons. Jill the pain of the 1st anniversary of our   

Comment by Jill E on November 15, 2015 at 10:54pm

Thank you Teresa. And everyone whose words are words of comfort to me. December 7th one year. How have I made it this long? Seems like yesterday- the pain so intense. My husband's best friend died suddenly Friday at 48 years old. He was everything to his Mother.
I hate the holidays. I keep thinking of this time last year I had no idea I would be in this place in this pain in this hell. I try to remember last Thanksgiving and it isn't clear. The memories are all jumbled together from other years I think nothing is clear. I am in a fog. My can't remember anything what happened years ago, months ago, days, even hours ago. I get angry at myself. I get angry at myself for everything.

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