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Comment by lynne thompson on May 26, 2012 at 12:05pm

Sue, I am so sorry , it is so hard to lose both children, I did too, they were 13 months apart.  Bobby I lost to manic depression, and Terry to a heart attack, that I had no idea he had a bad heart.  My heart goes out to you and you are right people just do not think.  Sometimes people just say dumb things not realizing what they are doing to the person who is greiving.....I also had a bad day yesterday, I know, Sue, I know..............(((((hugs)))))

Comment by Sue D on May 26, 2012 at 11:13am

I am missing my kids so much the last few days. I can't stop crying. Is it because of the careless joke overheard at work yesterday about cancer and dying? Is it because we got mail for Brett today and a reminder email about Erica's birthday in a few days? Maybe it was the donation made in their memories. Probably all of these things. I mourn the loss of my kids, the loss of being a mom, of never having a grandchild, or graduations or anything that means Life goes on in the family... I mourn the fact that I have no goals for the future, no do I have the engy or will to set any. I work at my job, but have no interst or desire to be there - the work doesn't seem "important" enough after living for 5 years with one or both kids with cancer and going through all those life affecting crises. Now they are gone, and I am lost....

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on May 26, 2012 at 12:38am

It's getting worse. Have others felt the same? I'm losing the will to continue.

Comment by Karen R. on May 25, 2012 at 9:50pm

Thanks Lynne, thanks for your well wishes, I wish the same for all of us on and off this site.

Comment by lynne thompson on May 25, 2012 at 9:45am

   This is the hardest thing to go through , and I just live moment to moment........and to hear about a childs' death is so hard.  I have one child left.......and you be honest I am a wreck everytime I cannot reach him.  I have to stop this, for I know I will loose him........and yes, I am in counciling .......ugh, for I feel unless you loose a child , how can college teach you anything of the pain of this.   But I am so desperate , right now for relief I do go anyway.  I much better perfer compassionate friends, but I will do what I hope will help me even if it is so little .  Everyone here , I think of you all, and honestly I want peace so much for all of you as well as myself..........(((hugs)))

Comment by Grace on May 25, 2012 at 8:05am

Just want to say I am here and reading your thoughts.... ((((HUGS)))))

Comment by Robin Jone on May 24, 2012 at 11:03pm

Ashley, I am so sorry for your loss. A few months before my 23 year old son died in a terrible accident, my neighbor's 20 year old son died in a car accident. I remember going over and talking to her and telling her how sorry I was and could not even imagine the pain she was going through,, little did I know just a few months later I would be experiencing the same pain. I have lost many loved ones in my life, but none as painful as losing my son. Grief for me seems to be a roller coaster, one day I might be okay, the next I am back to that heart wrenching pain. I just have to take it one moment at a time, I can't think about what tomorrow will bring. I have gone to three weddings since my son died, it has been almost nine months, and every single one I have cried and felt the pain that Karen was describing. Trying so hard to hide the tears, but not being successful. Billie, I am so sorry, I my heart hurts for you. I hurt for all of us that have to go through this unbearable loss. I pray that we find some peace. Hugs. Robin

Comment by lynne thompson on May 24, 2012 at 5:33pm

Hi Ashley, and welcome.....I am so sorry for your loss , please stay with us for I really believe that all of us help one another, by remberances and just sharing our feelings....please take care Ashley

Comment by Karen R. on May 24, 2012 at 10:59am

Hello Ashley and welcome. So sorry for your loss. Please be encouraged to share your feelings here, someone will always be willing to listen.  Many hugs to you.

Comment by Karen R. on May 24, 2012 at 10:51am

Oh Billie, I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. My son was only 21 yrs old and once at a young friend's wedding, I completely lost it when her new husband danced with his mom. I became overwhelmed with sadness as it reminded me that I would never dance with my son his wedding. Everyone else was so happy and taking pictures but my heart was crumbling.....well, what's left of it. Many people thought that my tears were happy tears but they weren't. I had to remove myself from the dance floor and sit at my table, I was the only one sitting and of course sobbing, I didn't want the happy bride to see me. Another friend noticed me at the table and came to my aid, she knew right away what my tears were about. She took me to the bathroom and convinced me not to leave. I got it together and went to join the guests but the whole time I was watching everyone like I was watching a movie in slow motion, all I could think was wow, how can all of these people be so happy, how can they laugh,  how can they dance......don't they know my son is gone?!!! How is the world going on without my son!!! It sounds irrational but that was how I was feeling.

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