Oh Sue, well first of all darn it I wrote you a note and like a dummy I somehow lost it.......I am so sorry that you are going through all this.  It is bad enough that we lost our children , never mind handling the everyday things in life.   My husband is not the father of these children and so my sadness is pushed down, for I know he does not get it.  I get counseling and go to Compassion Friends meeting.   I know I have to go through the first year without making decisions, but sometimes I just want to leave and go get my own place far away from here.   That might sound terrible, but I do.   It is , sometimes , I think it is all about him.......I think we need to take care of our needs first, we were the moms that gave birth to our children.  I am glad your hubby and you are in counseling, for maybe this will help you a great deal.  You have a lot of pressure on you Sue, and I do feel really bad.   I myself in a lot of ways do too.....I really hope you find , and me too:)) some sort of peace someday.   I know happiness is out for that is when you are young and no tragedies have hurt you, so I just hope for peace and quiet.    Please take care of yourself , Sue, for stress can do terrible things with your body...this is the worst thing you will ever go through, besides the illness of the children.  You are brave and remember, right now, I really believe you come first.  I do think of you often and look for your comments.  We as women have been taught to take care of everyone else's needs.  I think our should be first , for how can we do that if we are stressed out and get sick ourselves......Please take care of yourself , first, Sue.   Do what feels right and feels good to you....you are a good mom , and yes you are still a mom.   Your children showed you how good you were........I will talk to you later...love, lynne

Sue, as you know I lost 2 of my children also,one was 26 just turned it, and the other son just turned 45.   How are you doing now?  I just reread your blog (page ) on here and I remembered that you have 2 children gone.   Please feel free to email if ever you want lynrose1546@aol.com........to lose 2 children is just so so awful....Please take care of yourself........love, lynne