Comment

Comment by toni m dicarlo on December 22, 2015 at 6:56pm

Teresa d , thank you for your post, I lost my son and only child 5-26-2011 and am amazed and shocked and angry and heartbroken at the thin gs people say to me. the holidays are so hard for me and I thought this year wouuld be different but I have been crying for 3 days and I am so sad. I am heartbroken , 

Comment by Teresa D. on December 22, 2015 at 4:27pm

Yesterday in an attempt to make me feel better (I think) someone started telling me how many people have lost their children.

I didn't really get that.

You mean to tell me I'm not the only one?

Oh, silly me there are so many of us so why would I need to grieve for MINE!

 

People will NEVER stop saying insensitive and STUPID things to us.

Comment by Lynn Williams on December 19, 2015 at 12:46pm

I am relieved not to be teaching anymore during this time of year. Seeing everyone happy and excited about the holidays would push me over the edge. Last Xmas we had a tree for my other daughter but this year I couldn't bring myself to get one. I gave her. all our family ornaments and we will spend Xmas at her house. Love to everyone here. Today I feel pretty down, maybe it's because it snowed last night and another memory of xmas's past.

Comment by Sandy Hendrix on December 18, 2015 at 12:26pm

Teresa, that is so funny, I also want to yell at the world and tell them to stop being so happy!!!

Comment by Teresa D. on December 17, 2015 at 5:26pm

All month I have been lying.  Every classroom I walk in I lie to the kids when they ask about my shopping and decorating.  I tell them, "of course I did" and I say it with a smile.  I really want to YELL at the world and tell everyone stop being so damn happy. BUT....this is my grief not theirs. 

 

Comment by Lori on December 13, 2015 at 4:27pm

Teresa. Thank you for the reply. You are brave and give me hope.

Comment by Ammy on December 13, 2015 at 11:14am

Comment by Ammy on December 13, 2015 at 10:47am

Please join us this Sunday, December 13 for the 19th Annual Worldwide Candle Lighting in memory of all children gone too soon. For full information including services around the globe, visit: http://www.compassionatefriends.org/WCL_Misc/2015_services.aspx. If there is not a service near you, or you would rather not attend a service, just light a candle for an hour wherever you are with friends, family, or in quiet solitude.

 

Comment by Teresa D. on December 13, 2015 at 9:54am

Lori and RJ as someone ahead of you I can't tell you anything that is going to make this journey easier for you.  I learned there are no magic words.

I know that sense of feeling lost, still experiencing it myself.  Holidays are very hard but in time they will begin to take new shape.  No one understands some of the things I do but to me they make total sense, like my tree outside that represents us all.  My fiancé learned the hard way DO NOT UNPLUG MY TREE!

To me that tree is our children shining bright.  When I look at it I think of everyone of us.

Michael's tournament while it is a bitter sweet event it is my new Christmas.

I'm going into selfish mode.  Yesterday Michael's tournament was a success.  One of the local businesses heard that we were also doing a essay contest with a hockey scholarship as a prize and so they donated a second cash prize.

I held myself together but I looked around the rink and just kept seeing my Michael.  When it came time to give a speech I went at it like a champ until the words started to come.  I then had to pause to fight the tears. 

This one was for you buddy! I hope your momma is making you proud.  I will live for you Michael. 

Damn how did I get here.

Comment by Lori on December 12, 2015 at 8:49pm

Hi Rj. I am fairly new here and don't comment much but I saw where you said you were having acid reflux. I never had even heartburn in my life but since my beautiful Cameron passed its awful. I even drove myself to the ER one night thinking it was my heart. Nothing but anxiety. I too feel like everything that used to be normal whether it be physical or mental will never be that way again. I did survive Cameron's birthday 11-23-88. Very very hard. My 3 year old grandson had a dream about his Uncle Cameron that warmed my heart. Everyday something different about Cameron comes to my mind that I hadn't' thought about since he passed whether it be a saying of his or just a joke we shared. I am lost without him. I don't know how to function. I'm rambling but it seems that's all I do now. I need my boy. He was not only my son but my buddy. He taught me so many things.

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