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Comment by Marianne McCue on December 13, 2012 at 5:17pm

I lost my son unexpectly 1 month ago. I never new this much hurt excisted. My husband tells me to "get over it". He is not Roberts dad. I'm hurt by my loss, and the lack of lack of empathy. I do not sit around and cry. I work and have a strong faith. I'm just hurting. 

Comment by Michele Hayes on December 10, 2012 at 9:32am

I lit a candle last night for Ivy and all who have lost children. Robin- last night I had a dream that one of my twins stopped breathing(that's what happened to Ivy, I found her unconscious). It has been such a fear of mine since we lost Ivy. It was surreal how healthy my little girl was one day and the next fighting for her life. I still think about how fast she went and it is really scary.

Comment by Robin Jone on December 9, 2012 at 10:32pm

I lit three candles tonight, one in memory of my Zach, one for my nephew, Will, and one for all my friends who are grieving the loss of a child or loved one. I am so jealous of you all that have had dreams. I have only had one dream that I remember of Zach, and it was him telling me that the accident really didn't happen. It made me sad when I woke up because of course, it did happen. Maybe if I pray God will send him to me in my dreams. Hugs to you friends.

Comment by Ammy on December 9, 2012 at 12:23pm

I was just going to get out the candles for tonight, and here I am.  I forgot.  Will do it as soon as I finish this.

Dick, I also had a dream of my son two nights ago.  Haven't had one of him in over a year.  I love it when I dream of him.  He really looked good in the dream, but it was too short.  At least what I remember was short.  He came up to me and hugged me and said thank you mom.  That was it, but that hug was real and I can still feel it.

If dreams are all I can have of him while I'm still here I will take them.  I had prayed really hard for a couple of nights that God would bring him to me and I feel He answered my prayer.  A moment of peace, and like you Dick, I wish I could go back to the dream.

Has anyone else had comforting dreams of their child?

Wishing you all strength, love, and peace for the holidays.

Comment by Dick on December 9, 2012 at 9:15am

 had Danny come to me in a dream the other night. I thought is was real, every day lifr; then I woke. I was sad it was not real. I would really like to go back to the dream.

Comment by Michele Hayes on December 9, 2012 at 8:14am

I will light a candle. We have moved so we don't live in an area with Compassionate Friends. We went to the ceremony last year and I wish we could make it again. It was so nice to have the support and people who understand.

Comment by Lorraine on December 8, 2012 at 8:06pm

compassionate friends does a candle lighting close by to where I live; it is such an emotional evening. I am planning on going tomorrow night. Today I went to a funeral service of one of my son Sy's friend's; the young man was only 36 & had a heart attack in his sleep.  The look in his mama's eyes said it all ~ too familiar.  I am exhausted, far more than I thought I would be.  This doesn't get easier, and I am glad to have this site to come to share whatever is on my mind without having to pretend or worry about what others will think. 

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on December 8, 2012 at 4:21pm

Me too.  I will light a candle for all of our beautiful children and pray that we find some peace this Christmas.  I am finding the second year to be harder than the first year as  well. 

 

 

 

 

Comment by Karen R. on December 8, 2012 at 3:16pm

I will light a candle tomorrow for all of our children.

Comment by Robin Jone on December 8, 2012 at 1:38pm

Hi Everyone, sorry I have not been on for a while but it doesn't mean I don't think and pray for all of us, especially during the holiday season. I can't believe that this will be the second year not having Zach with us. His birthday is coming up on the 16th, he would have been 25. I think in a lot of ways this year is even harder than last year. Last year  we were still in shock, this year everything points to the fact that he is never coming back. We decided not to have anything formal at our house this year for Zach's birthday, at least not on the actual day. All our daugthers aren't able to make it home that day, so instead we might just wait until when they are all here for our Christmas. This year it is going to be even more different because my husband has to work Christmas day so we are going to wait until the 30th when every one can be off work to have our family Christmas. Some days I can't help but think about how much every one in our family's lives have changed. How it always seems so emotionally charged when we are together. People will tell me how wonderful our family is, and how close we all are, but they don't know that there is still anger. Not with each other, but sometimes we just lash out at each other because thats what we do, lash out at those closest to us. My daugthers are all grieving different, one wants to talk about Zach and her feelings. The middle one will talk about Zach but not her feelings and the youngest, who was probably closest to Zach, just really doesn't want to do either unless it is through a text message. I continue to go to Compassionate Friends, but that only meets once a month, but it does seem to help me. That is my time when I can talk about Zach, take my mask off and just let the emotions go with people who understand. I will definitely be lighting a candle tomorrow night for Zach and thinking of all of you and your children. Prayers and hugs for us all. God bless.

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