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Comment by Robin Jone on December 25, 2012 at 10:41pm

I like what you said Grace, not to worry about the Merry but to hopefully find some peace. It was a very different Christmas today. My husband had to work, and only one of my daughters could be here today. We decided not to do our Christmas until my other daughters and granddaughters could be here. It was too much change in a year, missed all my loved ones so much. Another loss a few days ago, a friend lost her 24 year old son in a car accident. This will be the third loss of a child in the last three to four months. My heart aches for all those just beginning this nightmare. Holding them and all of us in prayer. Hugs.

Comment by Grace on December 24, 2012 at 10:08am

PEACE....  let's not worry about "Merry"  let's just have PEACE and make our SOULS  STILL..... enjoy the inner quiet and PEACE..... let's not take on the stress of "Merry".....  I wish for all of us PEACE and WARMTH and LOVE   to get us through the SEASON......  Be Still Our Souls.... PEACE

Comment by Ammy on December 23, 2012 at 11:47am

Marianne, this is mainly for you.  I didn't plan on posting anything today, but I try and keep up with the posts.

I don't know the laws in your state and if your granddaughter lives in the same state, but here in PA, we as grandparents of a deceased child have rights to our granddaughter (his child).  We had to petition the court and went before a conciliator and received partial physical custody.  Her mom can no longer keep her from us.  Check out the laws in your state.  You can probably find information online.  I did almost everything myself without having to hire an attorney.

I have been doing almost everything myself concerning my son's death as our local police and the coroner just blew it off.  I have the doctor being investigated and occasionally in touch with the coroner, and the last time we talked with him he decided to ask the D.A. to reopen and look into the case.

It's very hard, but if I don't do it, who will?  My one daughter has been helping me with all of this and I'm so grateful she has been here for me, but she knows they all messed up in the beginning.  If you want something done you have to keep after them.  

I hope you are able to find a way to see your son's daughter.  

This will be our 3rd Christmas and I am finding this one harder than last, but a lot has been going on in our family and that may be contributing to it.

Blessings to you all, and as I have already told Adrianne, I am wishing you all a peaceful holiday, with moments of happiness right beside the moments of sorrow.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on December 23, 2012 at 2:21am

Much harder. It's so final. So long since I saw him now. My mind knows this is real. I can't get him back. My heart doesn't want that to be true. Never thought Christmas could be so sad.

Comment by Marianne McCue on December 22, 2012 at 3:47pm

It's kind of depressing to hear the 2nd Christmas is harder then the 1st. It's so hard now. His b-day was the 16th. The pain is so great. There is such a big hole in my heart. However I get to have my 12 yr old g-son for Christmas Eve. He had to move back to AR after his dad died. His mom lives here. Roberts 6yr old daughter lives with her mom in CO. She won't let us see her. I'm more upset with her then anything. I think kids need all the love they can get.Some day she will get old enough to look me up. Until then I have to suffer from her mom's selfishness.

Comment by Rosie Fletcher on December 21, 2012 at 7:10pm

Same for me.  It's my 2nd Christmas without my son and it's even harder than the first :-(  Missing him so much.

 

Comment by Dick on December 21, 2012 at 1:29pm

Our second Christmas as well. Not easy.

Comment by Robin Jone on December 21, 2012 at 9:25am

The month of December is a particularly hard month for us all. Zach's birthday would have been on the 16th, he would have been 25. Last year we had an oyster roast and had all his friends here, this year we decided to just be my husband, daughter and myself. My other two daughters live out of town now, so didn't really want to do much if they could be here. I don't know what is the right answer, neither brought him back. We spent the day quietly, husband and I went to church, then I went for a bike ride (Zach loved to ride bikes) and then I made his favorite dinner for the three of us. I don't know if it has been the case with others, but this being the second Christmas without him, has been in a lot some ways harder. It will just hit me out of nowhere, and I will begin to cry. I have had two friends who within the last few months lost their daughters in car accidents and then this  horrible tragedy in CT. I know it has been hard enough for me having lost Zach at the age of 23. I am fortunate that he was with friends and having a great time, these children were taken so brutally and way too early. My grand daughter is the same age as those adorable little children, I can't even imagine. My prayers are with all those who are suffering from the loss of any loved one. One day at a time, one second at a time. Hugs.

Comment by Dick on December 20, 2012 at 7:56pm

Danny came to me in another dream lately. I wish he would talk in the dreams. It just seems like everyday used to be before he left.

 I lost it the other day listening to Bohemian Rhapsody. He is talking to his mother before he dies. I have never cried to a song other than Daniel by Elton John.

Comment by Katherina Conley on December 19, 2012 at 2:43pm

I was able to talk of him today without tearing up ... when asked if my grand daughter was my only one and  i said yes till my younger son has another.. when asked if my other child did not want more I was able to say that it was not the case that he had passed away on thanksgiving... I miss him and wish he was here with me and his adorable daughter

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