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Comment by Michelle H on May 15, 2014 at 10:29am

It worked! See below....Matthew West's song, "Save a Place for Me." I think it will touch you. Worth the time.

Comment by Michelle H on May 15, 2014 at 10:27am

I'm going to try to give you access to a wonderful song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE1lMoLsY3M

Comment by Teresa D. on May 15, 2014 at 6:21am

Connie in all this sadness you made me smile with the story about the video.  You don't understand a word but I bet that's your favorite video. 

Eva, I look at your posts and it makes me think of where I was.  Progress is slow and painful, but you will progress.

I know it feels like your insides are just being eaten up by grief.

I don't have any words of wisdom I just want you to know we are all here to support you and we all know just how much this HURTS!

My fiancé has been outstanding with supporting me.

I didn't speak to Michael's dad outside of a court room since they were little.  Now I not only speak to him but we lean on each other. Funny how life takes turns.  My ex has been humbled by the situation and has turned into a totally different person.  My daughter hasn't spoken to him since she was 13 (her own choice) now they are rebuilding their relationship and he is trying as hard as he can to keep the relationship. 

Connie I would love to see one of your concerts.  Dolly I agree with Connie....turn that radio up!  Dance with Brandon. 

And Dolly even though your husband takes care of Bo, Bo needs you too.  Your job as a mom is not done.

LOVE YOU ALL!

Comment by Eva Van on May 15, 2014 at 2:49am

....devastatingly heartbroken....

Comment by Eva Van on May 15, 2014 at 2:47am

Mothers Day had no greater effect on me...It was another day without Devan. Maybe it is due to the fact she hasn't been gone long enough for there to be "good" days. They are all the same...intensely agonizing. I just want it all to go away...the pain, the tears, the hole in the heart I physically feel...I wish I could go away... 

I am not "enduring" pain.... I am subject to it. It is not "strengthening" me...it is draining me...

What I am today is unrecognizable....disfunctional...selfish...bitter...

Comment by Michelle W on May 15, 2014 at 12:02am

Connie
I have always a hard time trying not to bring my husband down.. I no guilt has to be harder for him, I wish I could express to the world what consistently is going through my head then made I would just get the break I need most the time. I was watch these silly twilight movies the other night.. They always make me think of my son, he always went to movies with me that my husband and daughter could not stand to do.. It was our thing .. He one year down loaded one of the twilight movies (before it was in theaters)he was so happy to give it to me for Xmas.. I went to watch it it was in another language,,, I couldn't understand a thing.. Funny right .. But my son always took care of his mom.., well getting back to my thought so to explain watching the last movie of the series after my son has left me.. It already breaks my heart but the scene where Bella is laying dead and is still and inside she is just scratching and raging in pain turning into the vampire.. Is how I feel all the time .. Sitting calm to the public not to alarm and inside that graphic says it all.. Mother's Day was the WORST. All I needed was my daughter to say hey I love you .. Your a good mom but that did not happen , she was busy with her life.. I really needed that this year.. Hugs to all Michelle

Comment by Jesse's Mom on May 14, 2014 at 10:14pm

From Connie,"For me it is hard to comfort him and vice versa, because we are both are in so much grief"

 

This is so true...my husband and I are like two drowning people at times...

Comment by Connie K on May 14, 2014 at 6:21pm

It is so hard to go through this grief and have it not affect your marriage. My husband has to have a project all the time too. I just have decided that it is his way of dealing and I deal differently.  For me it is hard to comfort him and vice versa, because we are both are in so much grief. But on the other hand, he is the only one who knew and loved my son the way I did and I know he will ultimately understand if I cry all day. So I just let go of expectations and do my own thing too. I understand that it just sucks to have a fight and have to deal with that negative energy on top of everything else.

Comment by Connie K on May 14, 2014 at 6:10pm

Hang in there Dolly. I think we all find the strength to get through those tough days but need to have the release on the other end. I feel like collapsing and crying, don't really want to do anything w/o my son. I'm right there with you. Keeping it together through Daniel's b-day, mother's day, Chicago trip was hard. And I just finished singing with my group, the Sisters of Swing at a senior village and now have a concert Sat night plus rehearsals and it is a battle to keep going (even though it's what I love to do). It is really hard to keep it together all the time!!!!!!! Play your music Dolly even though I know you may not feel like it. It'll lift you up and I know Brandon will be there listening...

Comment by Jesse's Mom on May 14, 2014 at 4:07pm

Teresa, I did the same thing this past weekend...saw someone that looked like my son...it was not good...

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