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Comment by Michelle H on June 2, 2014 at 10:37am

Teresa, what a beautiful gathering of gifts that Michael left you...signs of his eternal love that will be a constant reminder in your garden. I love those "little" signs from our kids.

Comment by Teresa D. on June 2, 2014 at 10:29am

I was going to keep this to myself but now I'm sharing.

I love to garden and when I have challenges in my garden I like to find things in nature to use.  The rain water was coming off the corner of the house making a hole in the soil, so I decided to fill it in with rocks.

As I was walking up and down a shore line along the river I started looking for rocks to use.  As I was doing this I kept finding rocks in the shape of a heart.  I know Michael was leaving them for me. 

Comment by Michelle H on June 2, 2014 at 8:16am

Is anyone going to the Compassionate Friends conference in July?

Comment by kim on June 2, 2014 at 7:59am

last night I was out side around 10.30 and I tooked up at the biggest star like every night I named it shawn, and I said please shawn give me a sign you are here with me now,  suddenly a firefly flew bye me and my husband, I know he sent it to me, hes with me always, I love and miss him so bad.

Comment by Connie K on June 2, 2014 at 12:14am

No words today. (((( ))))

Comment by kim on June 1, 2014 at 1:18pm

to my wonderfull son    SHAWN  , my heart is so broken, my tears would fill an ocean, I would give up everything to be with you now. 40 years were not enough time, when you left me I died to. you will always be my special angel, my beautiful son I miss you more than words can say. I know you will never leave me, and I pray im with you soon, help me through this baby,  love you forever   mom

Comment by Jesse's Mom on May 31, 2014 at 1:53pm

It is hard to understand any of this in the context of faith...there were many experiences prior to my son's leaving, a kind of "knowing" something was going to occur...what I thought about God has dramatically shifted since, He is a being outside of time and death and life are in His hand, but this does not change the impact of grief on me...and the wondering, did I do something? All I know is that I miss my son and my heart is shattered...

Dolly, those signs our loved one continues...thanks for sharing..

Comment by Teresa D. on May 31, 2014 at 8:15am

Anne I agree with you, the devil does his work as well. 

LR, I'm right there with you.    I ask myself why didn't I hear something in his voice but at the same time I thank God for that last phone call.  I will forever remember every word and cherish that call. 

My daughter yesterday brought me the photo disk from his service.  I haven't seen it since that day.  It was hard but I had to watch it.  Starting with his newborn picture and ending with him as an adult.  I cried, cried and cried some more.  But then I noticed that in 95% of the pictures he was smiling.  That was the Michael everybody knew. 

God is holding up one side and Michael is holding up the other side.  When I'm hitting bottom the hardest I ask Michael to hold my hand.  In my heart I know he is doing just that.

Comment by anne on May 30, 2014 at 10:39pm

I wish there was a way to reassure all of you that this is not Gods will, and it is not God making us suffer. I thought that too for a very long time, but since my second son died I have been learning a lot about God, his will, and who is really causing all of this suffering. It is not God. It is Satan. Who else would cause the ultimate pain, and use it to keep us from God? Something to think about. Once I realized the truth about who was really to blame for my broken heart, I also began to feel God's comfort, and love. God loved me enough to wait for me to learn the truth, and come back to him. Peace, and Love to all.

Comment by kim on May 30, 2014 at 4:49pm

dear L R   im so very sorry. I know your pain. it is unbearable. knowing we are not alone helps, everyone here does care, they know what we are feeling. everyday I pray to die to be with my only child my son shawn. hes the love of my life. he left me at the doctors office in the parking lot after getting meds. I died that day to. I feel so very alone without him,  but here I can get it out. I cry all day and night. I feel no one understands , but here they do. I feel god is making me suffer, why I do not know, but I do know my son is still here with me everyday.  I know your children are still with you, take care   kim

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