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Comment by Lynn Williams on August 1, 2014 at 8:16pm

Linda no one knows why things happen to people. Is it predestined is it fate or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You can't blame yourself for your daughter's death. We have all down things we are not proud of but blaming yourself for your daughter's death is not true or helpful. I hope you can let go of your guilt. My daughter also died in a car accident. It was a freak event that happened last August 17th. It is devastating enough to face the loss of our beloved child don't compound the loss blaming yourself. You will get through this, I hope you find some peace and stop beating yourself up for what happened. God doesn't punish our children for our behavior. Love to you Lynn

Comment by Linda on August 1, 2014 at 8:00pm

somebody please "tell the truth and shame the devil"!  HELP ME!

Comment by Linda on August 1, 2014 at 7:58pm

so I feel that no one identifies with me...yes"

Comment by Linda on August 1, 2014 at 6:59pm

i'm no good. I should be the one dead.  i'm reckless and without abandon. daily I ask God to forgive me of my transgressions. I think I had an "ahah" moment. God only takes you when your soul is pure as he did with my Desiree'.  I'm polluted. I take meds now to make me sleep and I drink well beyond my capacity just so I don't think about things. like the death of my only child. I'm a waist of skin so to speak. I loath myself. if the truth be know I should have died so many times before. I should have been the one to die in an auto accident. I've come so close to doing so while drunk off my ass. thank you Jesus for being certain that if that should have happened it would have been a one car accident. the pity of it is that my only child died just that way. the way I should have died so many time before. was it poetic justice? No. I don't blame God for any of this. He gives us the "wheel" so to speak but trust me when I tell you, we are the drivers. This site is yet another example of God's great glory. I can vent and say EXACTLY what I feel and why without being judgement. Family. As much as they love me have no idea of the torment i'm going thru. 4 months. 4 months. I can't wait till (God willing) I can say " I lost my daughter 1-2 years" ago.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on August 1, 2014 at 12:50am

I hate August

Comment by Michelle H on July 31, 2014 at 1:40pm

Linda, yes, I sincerely believe that Desiree was showing you she's with you. I have had some unexplainable experiences that I know are from my son, Chris. Cherish those moments; they're precious.

Comment by Linda on July 30, 2014 at 8:47pm

the other day I was sitting at the computer in our home, I was alone, we have levolor blinds in our family room. The blinds beside and to the near left of me in the middle fluttered as if someone passed their hand through them. It was the middle of the day. The first words out of my mouth was my daughters name. To this day I truly believe she was with me that day and wanted me to know she was with me. Curious. I haven't had an experience of this kind since smelling her perfume while in the park with my grandson days after her death. No matter where I went in the park her perfume was all about me. No one other than my grandson and myself were in the park at the time.  My Desiree' has been gone now for 4 months. I don't know what to think. Is this possible?  I haven't shared this with my husband.  We have our own ways of dealing with the loss.  She was my only and at my age of 54 there will never be another.  ..

Comment by kim on July 30, 2014 at 12:21pm

im so very sorry chelle. I know your heart is broken like mine. I was with my son shawn, I screamed so much for him not to leave me. I died that day to. I just wish I could go now with him.  I wish I could have given him my heart, but now mines so empty and dead. hugs to you   love kim

Comment by kim on July 30, 2014 at 7:20am

I agree linda, we go first not our children, that's the unbearable pain.  I sleep with shawns clothes and I can smell him every night. I hold it so tight no one can get it out of my arms. I pray every night hes holding on to me .I died that day to with my shawn, now I just wait to go with him, and it better be soon, I cant wait forever I wont.   hugs linda  

Comment by Linda on July 30, 2014 at 6:41am

I miss my daughters physical being. To be able to hold her, smell her, talk with her. It's the unknown that disturbs me as well. I should have gone before her to know what is in store once we pass on. To know what it is like to die and to know what she's experiencing. This troubles me. As a parent it's part of our job to have knowledge of what lies ahead. I wasn't able to do that for Desiree'. I love you Boog. Mama will always love you.

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