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Comment by Dawn on October 6, 2014 at 1:44pm

Thank you Connie K. And yes, children's services cautioned us that specifically myself and my grandson are possibly in danger and we need to have a safety plan. I am not to go anywhere alone with him. Police say that these things take time

Comment by Connie K on October 6, 2014 at 12:42pm

Dawn wow I am so sorry for this horrible ordeal you are going through. Is it your grandchild's mother you suspect of the murder and who is putting you in danger or you just don't know? So much to deal with - I am sending you all of my prayers.

Comment by kim on October 6, 2014 at 12:21pm

dawn,  im so very sorry, I just don't know what to say except,  I know your pain your broken heart. I hope you are safe, please take care  hugs and love   kim

Comment by kim on October 6, 2014 at 12:18pm

Adrianne, yes I to am numb. I have lost all feelings for anyone. the pain is to great . my heart is to broken. I miss my son so much I just want so bad to be with him.  hugs to you  

Comment by Dawn on October 6, 2014 at 11:48am

Today is 2 months since my son's brutal murder, I still cry everyday.

I feel like a prisoner ... how can the police and children's service warn you that you are in possible danger and then just not tell you anything?

How do I grieve while living in fear

Comment by Ammy on October 6, 2014 at 11:02am

Yes, Adrianne, I have periods of time that I am completely void and it does scare me because I absolutely have no feelings.  I can accept it easier now because I know it eventually passes, but it's an awful feeling for me to not even feel my love for my family.  During these times my faith is all that keeps me going.
I am glad to see you post.  I was thinking of you.

May today be kind to everyone here.  You are all in my heart.

Comment by Adrianne Edgerly on October 6, 2014 at 1:51am

I have become almost numb. My mind seems to be preventing me from feeling. Has anyone experienced this?

Comment by Ammy on October 5, 2014 at 11:49am

Connie, I almost forgot to tell you that I hope you can revisit your dream.  I pray all the time for a dream, but I haven't had one for about 2 years, and the ones I did have were not really happy dreams but it felt so great to feel like I was with him again.  Wish we could all visit our children in pleasant dreams.

Comment by Ammy on October 5, 2014 at 11:44am

Always thinking of you all as I come here almost every day and read the posts.  I wish I had words of wisdom to speak to you but there is no specific thing that can help anyone.  We all keep going and gradually adapt by finding our own way through this journey.  As time moves along we do find some smoother roads but the potholes and roadblocks show up over and over.  I want to encourage you even though you can't see past today that it will happen eventually.  And you shouldn't try to rush yourself.  Focus on getting through today.  

We all seem to understand what each one is going through as we all seem to experience the same effects of grief at times and yet each is an individual journey.

Kim, I can only send you love, prayers and understanding.  I remember well marking off those first months.  I don't count months anymore, but I still count the weeks.  I don't know why, but like I said, we do what we need to do.

Teresa, I am encouraged by your courage even though there is nothing I can do to honor my son except to try and keep the memories alive.  Others have all moved on and are very quiet when it comes to talking about him.  Some times it makes me angry, but I understand that their love for him could never be the same as mine.  It's natural that they move on.

I send my prayers and wishes for gentler days.

Comment by kim on October 5, 2014 at 11:16am

thank you connie, I pray you get that dream back  hugs  kim

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