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Comment by Jill E on February 20, 2017 at 12:14pm

Thank you all for sharing. It helps me so much that I am not alone. That there others that understand me when I don't understand myself. WYWH My Joshie

Comment by Patty on February 20, 2017 at 10:48am

Thank you for sharing that, Teresa.  

Comment by Teresa D. on February 20, 2017 at 9:13am

I'm 4 1/2 years in and still crying daily.  I hate this, some days I feel like I'm making progress and some days I feel stuck back on day one.  I learned there's nowhere I can go to escape it so I have to embrace it.  How do you do that? I have no clue. 

Comment by Teresa D. on February 20, 2017 at 9:10am

Patty your not doing anything wrong. We always think others are doing better than ourselves, but NO! We all just have to find our own way.  I agree with Ammy I never want all of it to go away.  If I have to feel my Michael through my tears than I'm okay with crying forever. This is the new normal me.

I went to a family dinner with my sisters, brother and nieces and nephews.  My daughter decided at the start of dinner to ask everyone to tell their fondest memory of my Michael. By the time the second person started to talk I had to stop them.  I couldn't eat, the tears were streaming and I discovered I wasn't ready for that.  I want to hear the stories and laugh like everyone else, just can't find the laughter right now.

Comment by Patty on February 19, 2017 at 11:31am

It's been 6 years and 6 months for me.  For me, it is not getting better.  I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Comment by Ammy on February 18, 2017 at 4:10pm

Hello everyone,
I don't get on the computer very much anymore.  It's old and slow.  But I do think of you all and pray for you daily.
I am not boasting.  There is nothing to boast about on this journey, but I'm saying this to give hope to those that feel hopeless.  I am six years and seven months into this journey.  I have to say that I am doing better.  The pain is not as harsh all the time.  It hasn't gone away, it's just different. There are still tearful days, but not every day.  I'm slowly moving forward; one breath, one step, one day at a time.  It may not seem like much to others, but it's better than nothing at all.  I take each day as it comes because I find it easier. 
I honestly would never want it to be completely gone.  I don't know how to explain it, but it has become a part of me that I embrace.
You may not think it, but you are all strong; even in your weakness.  Never give up being you.  Don't worry about what others think.  Just because we are grieving parents it doesn't mean we have something wrong with us.  It means we miss and love our child who is no longer here with us.  Our reality is forever changed.  We all need to grieve at our own pace and find our own way because it's a lifetime thing.
You are all in my heart and I send you my love.

Comment by Teresa D. on February 17, 2017 at 8:57am

Dolly, Jill sometimes I think it's they don't know what to say so they say nothing. They think talking about them will make us sad without knowing it's the lack of talking about them that makes us sad.

Connie I'm sorry you sat alone but know I was crying right along with you.

Sandy Congratulations on the new grandson.  I know nothing takes the place of our children but hopefully he can bring you some joy.

Lynn thank you.

Dick I know this has been hard for you but it's nice seeing you pop in.  As sad as it is you prepare me for the future.  I know not to expect to much.  That's the nice thing about those a head of you, they don't lie to you or try to make you expect more.  Dick believe it or not you make me feel normal.

I love you all!

Comment by Connie K on February 15, 2017 at 11:12am

Hello everyone
I am traveling to see my mom for her 87th birthday. Whenever I leave home I have such anxiety and relief all at once. Valentine a day really created that wave again. I sat alone in that stupid hotel restaurant with tears streaming down my face. 4 years and still seems like yesterday.
YOu all are always in my heart and I know we lol have to muddle through the best we can. I wish I were better at it. GEtting ready to board and put in that mask for 10 days. So hard.....
Love and prayers to you all ((( )))

Comment by Jill E on February 15, 2017 at 8:44am

Dolly I so understand. No body even says Josh's name...and this country...I don't understand any of it at all...nothing makes sense...

Comment by Dolly on February 15, 2017 at 7:18am

Nobody ever mentions Brandon.. I have lost myself.. nothing works anymore.. this country has lost its mind.. the world is falling apart.. maybe it will all end in a big bang.. I don't care.

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