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Comment by Connie K on April 4, 2015 at 11:35am

Sharon - I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. My heart goes out to you and everyone here. Such a hard journey we're on....

I had two dreams this week about my son. In both he was around 10. I love seeing him but I hate waking up

Comment by Rj on April 4, 2015 at 11:16am

Yes it is! If we weren't sad i don't think that would be normal. Its just dealing with it every second of the day. I wish we could fast forward to the day when at least the pain wasn't so great. Never forget or get over but at least to be able to function. I wish we were closer, i think we could teally help each other. I have to say the zoloft has helped somewhat. It doesnt make me tired or a zombie, its helping get my chemical, brain balanced back out. I am on a low dose, 50 mg because i dont want to be over medicated. I tried 75 mg and it gave me the jitters too much. The 50 is a good level for me. Plus i take a xanax in the evening, the worst time for me and my thoughts. I knew this was too big for me to handle without the medication. It does take about 3 weeks to notice some level of change. I plan to stay on it as long as i need to!

Comment by Sharon on April 4, 2015 at 10:43am

Thank you Kim, thank you Rj. I feel like my barely healing wounds are being ripped open again. I wish we were close by each other so that we could meet and cry together and hug each other. We are still so sad. Maybe I do need to take the antidepressant. Not sure if it will help. I feel like nothing will take away the grief. I'm not depressed... I'm sad. Isn't that normal?

Comment by Rj on April 4, 2015 at 10:09am

Kim, how are you doing...i know you lost shawn in November. Has time lessened the pain at all?? Larry has only been gone 2 months and im still dying every day.

Comment by kim on April 4, 2015 at 9:45am

Sharon,  hun im so very sorry. please know im here for you. love and hugs  kim

Comment by Rj on April 4, 2015 at 9:17am

Oh dear sharon....i wish i could just hug you right now.i am so sorry

Comment by Sharon on April 3, 2015 at 10:46pm

On top of my sons death in February, my dad died last night. Life really sucks for me right now

Comment by Eva Van on April 3, 2015 at 6:55pm

I couldn't bear the first anniversary of her death. I avoided it actually. I hate this...I do not want to remember this date !!! I DON'T WANT HER TO BE ...gone...

Such sadness, such pain. I can find no value in it, no purpose. Where is the strength promised ?! Where is the light at the end of this tunnel ??! This is a black hole which sucks out and extinguishes light. 

I don't want her to be gone...I don't want to be me

Comment by Rj on April 2, 2015 at 12:51pm

Just dreading any and all holidays...probably always will.

Comment by Sharon on March 31, 2015 at 11:35am

Rj

You can do it. Just take breaks when you need to. Sometimes I run into the bathroom for little cries. I went back the week before i was scheduled to go back and brought everyone lunch, just to get most of the big cries and hugs over.  That's the worst part, when people come up to you and say they are sorry. Then they tell you they know how they feel, because their grandma or dog died last year.!  Idiots!

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