Comment

Comment by Ammy on June 29, 2015 at 12:12pm

Dolly, we all say things that others sometimes take the wrong way.  As long as the communication stays active it usually gets straightened out.  Glad that is what happened here.

No person truly understands this life we now live if they aren't living it too.  I don't care who they are.  Church pastors, church people, psychiatrist, therapists, friends, family; it doesn't matter, they are just guessing while we are living it.  We need to learn to ignore them in their ignorance or it will drive us crazier.

I believe God understands, but that too is a whole personal thing with each of us.

We are a family of sorts now and families have differences.  It's okay.  Just don't hold grudges or anger.  Say something.  Talk it out.  We all need each other.

Sending my love to all.

Comment by Dolly on June 29, 2015 at 7:20am

thanks everyone... lately I am having so much trouble its almost worse than it was right after Brandon died.. and then all that mean stuff said to me from that founder of that online church  ... I felt so beat up.. I'm sorry if I said anything that hurt anyone in here.. I never meant to.. I'm all raw and can't half think these days..

Comment by Teresa D. on June 29, 2015 at 5:58am

Dolly I have known you for awhile now and I know your intention is to  NEVER hurt anyone.  Sometimes because of our emotional state we are quick to take something the wrong way. 

Sharon it's okay we all have our moments of feeling overwhelmed by all of this. 

Laurie I am so sorry you have to go through this.  It must be very painful to have to keep re-visiting the details.  HUGS!!!!!! 

 

Comment by Jesse's Mom on June 28, 2015 at 7:36pm

This past Thursday would have been my infant son's birthday. He would  have been 28 -- the same age as Jesse when he transitioned.

The next day was yet another court day...we almost had the case slid out from under us.

I posted the below posts because on Thursday, I discovered some rather unpleasant conversation, very hurtful conversation, going on in the church we were attending. Just plain judgemental. On the day of my deceased infant's birthday.

I have two children to grieve for...the days are just so dark right now...

This weekend I spent the entire time printing out a accident report that our DA needed to have for the case...somehow this information got dropped and I almost lost the ability to use our accident reconstructionist as a witness.

Then today as I was driving to the Print Shop to have this complicated document printed...the mini-van in front of me does the very illegal manuever that killed my son...quickly jumping in the oncoming lane of traffic to make a left turn...a crazy driving pattern I have only seen here...it killed my son...

...it hurts just to breath somedays...

Comment by Jesse's Mom on June 28, 2015 at 7:19pm

Sharing this blog from a grieving mom who is 12 years out...her most recent post:

https://onewomansperspective02.wordpress.com/

Comment by Sharon on June 28, 2015 at 5:56pm

We are all hyper sensative right now. Our feelings are so raw, and everything is painful.

Sharon, I know how hard it is seeing your dad. I lost mine 2 months after Troy. I do have to say that after losing my son, my fathers death was somewhat easier...if that makes any Sense. We expect to bury our parents, not our children. I'm so glad that you will get to see him again.

I do feel like we are all here to help one another, not hurt each other. I'm glad we all found each other here.

Thank you everyone, for being here for me.

Sharon A.
Troy's mom

Comment by Sharon Robertson on June 28, 2015 at 5:53pm

Im Sorry Dolly I thought that because I said I like his messages I offended people ..... I had a good cry and did some thinking and realised we do have to be careful. I am glad I am back and I know that this is a safe place and there are friends on line here that are here with me walking this road we call grief.

I guess we all have times that we can be tearful over just the simplest of things ... and I think I was having one of those moments yesterday  : )

Comment by Sharon Robertson on June 28, 2015 at 5:45pm

Sometimes things get just too much for me, Im constantly reminded of that day because I have to care for my 28yr old now with a brain injury from the accident (he was a builder, can't drive anymore let alone ever getting married) and an ex (who was the driver) who constantly gives me grief.

I don't go to church much these days ... Not because I don't want to, I feel just so broken inside, that I feel that I don't fit in.

I go for a visit to NZ in August for my fathers 90th birthday... this is starting something in me as well, I know that this will be the last time we will see each other.

Maaaannnn I need to get a grip ....... life is tough at times

Comment by Rj on June 28, 2015 at 2:51pm

I dont see where anyone said anything directed to another member here unless i too, missed something. We are all fragile here we just need to know its okay to share your hearts here

Comment by Rj on June 28, 2015 at 2:48pm

Wasnt directed to you dolly

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