Comment

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 26, 2017 at 7:58am

I agree with your Mom, cancer is the devil.

Comment by nouse on July 25, 2017 at 11:11pm

my mom said cancer was the devil... she died in 4 months.i send you all a lot of strength and more strength ive depression too so i dont see a point in living but most normal people say theres a point.

Comment by Esther on July 24, 2017 at 7:38pm

I hate seeing pictures of him... he's so thin like the people in the Holocaust pictures.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 24, 2017 at 8:29am

Morgan,

You said it perfect, there is nothing worth living for without my Husband to share it with.

Comment by Esther on July 23, 2017 at 6:37pm

Today has been waves of numb detachment for me... I try to be positive and hopeful but sometimes we can't force it and must just tolerate the sadness

Comment by dream moon JO B on July 23, 2017 at 4:09pm

sorry for evry 1 it goin thru hell i am 

i feal k im livin in hell coz of all bad shit wev had coz of loss

Comment by Michael Thompson on July 23, 2017 at 3:54pm

Morgan, how beautifully written...And spot on!

Comment by morgan on July 23, 2017 at 3:46pm

I have been struggling along trying to improve upon what I was left to deal with without my husbands unfailing support for four and half years.  I still want to die.  Everyday.  And of course he would want for me to not have to suffer like i am.  He loved me.  But other than being able to function better I have no desire to be here on earth.  Its not as though I despair.  I've gotten beyond that.   its that I am tired.  I'm doing it alone.  I have no compunction or reason to enjoy a day by myself.  For what?  With whom? My next door neighbor?  Because it was another sunny day?  Nope, not what I call living.

I don't buy into the "need" to live as I did when my husband was alive.  I was alive because of my husband.  He provided the connection to what was behind me and ahead of me.  Now I hate being without his companionship, his sometime disagreeable nature, his nurturing all of which I returned in kind because he was constantly there to receive it.  24/7.  

Now I float from one project to another distracting myself hoping I can work so hard I will fade away.  No one who particularly appreciates me, no one to talk to about the most intimate parts of my day.  

Sorry, I know my husband if he sees me is distraught over how I am.  He loved me more than anything and of course would not want to see me be anything but happy, but he is not the one here trying to live as half a person.  Unable to find anything that rocks my boat, gives me shivers or just that sense of being in the presence of someone who knows me.  Its gone and I have no need to continue more of it.  I had what I wanted for 35 years.  The best life of love and I'm done now.  Close the book.  

Comment by Nancy on July 23, 2017 at 1:22pm

I don't think you are being an A hole.  I just think maybe you've had more time to clearly think and grieve.  I hope to get to the point where I can live my life without despair every waking moment as well.  I appreciate your comments.

Comment by Michael C. Ramsey on July 23, 2017 at 12:13pm

Not trying to be an A-hole here folks but, C'mon waiting/wanting to die? My Andrea is gone almost 3 years and she is always on my mind. I have good days and bad days BUT I try to live whatever days I have left the way she would want me to. She often quoted a line from the movie The Shawshank Redemption that summed things up perfectly, "Get busy living or get busy dying".  Did your significant other not fight till the end?  Would they not be here if they could? Honor their memory by choosing to LIVE and carry the legacy of hope not despair. Love to all.Mike

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