Comment

Comment by Avi on July 8, 2018 at 10:38pm

I hope so bluebell that god walks with us and love us unconditionally.

I wish early recovery for you

Comment by Theresa on July 8, 2018 at 7:08pm

Bluebell, without a doubt he loves each and everyone of us.  

I remember after my mom passed a priest said to me God is walking right beside you all the time, through good, bad, happy, sad, he will never leave your side.

I truly believe that.

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 8, 2018 at 7:06pm

I hope so Bluebell. Hope is about all I have.

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 8, 2018 at 4:24pm

The hanging hummingbirds were one of my Mom's favorites. She loved cats, birds and butterflies.

We will get through this Theresa. If nothing else, I think it will eventually teach us to have more patience with those who are unhappy or grumpy. They are probably in pain just like we are.

I put up a simple picture above the fireplace mantle. All it says is "Breath." It helps me to remember that on a bad day, all I have to do is keep breathing and let time pass. History has taught me that I eventually I will have good days again. I will feel better and my brain will heal itself. I just pray when I have a follow up MRI and another test, that it does not show any malformation of blood vessels in my brain that needs to be corrected with surgery.  I really have an intense dislike to having my freedom taken away at a hospital. 2 days in ICU being hooked up to monitors 24/7 was a bad experience and I want no repeats.

I have another picture propped up on an accent chair. It says "To have a dog is to know what it is to be unconditionally loved." 

Do you think I could replace the word dog with God? Does he love us unconditionally?

Bluebell

Comment by Theresa on July 8, 2018 at 2:09pm

Great pic Bluebell !!

Love the hummingbirds behind you

I know for fact that I’ll never be the same person I was I turned into a really mean impatient  person I don’t know why my mom was always so kind and so caring, i’m laughing because I can hear her now saying to me stop getting so excited you get so nervous why?  I never did have an answer for that

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 8, 2018 at 12:53pm

I was happy and laughing in this picture. I want that person back.

Bluebell

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 8, 2018 at 12:52pm

Comment by BLUEBELL on July 8, 2018 at 12:51pm

I am so weary of not feeling well and laying around like a slug on the couch most of the day. If this was the way my Mom felt before she passed away, I am glad she is now free of her physical body.I pray she is happy where she is and has no worries or pain. Yes, I miss her and want her back. But to have her here with me and miserable would only be selfish of me.

I am sorry for being a downer, but I am discouraged right now and want my life back to semi normal. My big outing for the day is putting my baby dog in a rolling cart and pushing him around the block. It gives me exercise and helps me feel safe to walk as I am still off balance.

Bluebell

Comment by Brett Bowman on July 8, 2018 at 12:01pm

Virginia, this is only my opinion. I can't speak for God. I can only tell you what I believe. God did not take your mother away. He didn't take my mother away. All living creatures die. I believe that God receives us after we die, but I do not think he causes a horrible death.

Avi, is so right. Guilt is so dangerous and so often it is not deserved. I mean, if there is a monster out there who took delight in their mother's suffering, of course they should feel guilty. There are people in this world who look forward to their parents death because they want their money. You won't find people like that on this site because they probably are not grieving. You are not a cruel person and you obviously love your mother more than anything.

Comment by Avi on July 8, 2018 at 11:51am

Theresa I feel for you. I was not able to speak to my mom in her last days because she lost ability to speak much. 

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