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Comment by Sue Waxman on January 31, 2013 at 8:53am

Hello Friends,

Lost my mom June 26, 2010 - it never gets easier just some days are less empty. I have been pretty down the past week. Lost my job, which I loved in October. The job hunt sucks. I have to remind myself of what I do have going for me, so many others hurting worse. I cannot waite until God decides I have earned my place in heaven so I can see my mom again. I feel so alone somedays. I know you all understand. It helps to write how I feel knowing you do understand. My sisters just turned their backs on me and never looked back. Just didn't have the time for me they said - and not even that nice. They said "We can't give you what you want from us"....and all that I wanted was their love, a hug....after mom passed. I had to understand the truth - they were always pretty selfish and mean. Mom was all I had. I have good friends but absolutely no family and that hurts all of the time. Hang in there...we have to.

Comment by Jo Moon on January 31, 2013 at 7:08am

Thank you all so far i am feeling better so far so good. I needed to let all that out. It is nice to just say what you want and let go of some stress. This has helped me along with a few good friends i go to meetings with. I am recovering addict so ive done good i think to just keep sober in this time. I have three years in but never thought of wanting to go back as bad as when all this was first going on and with all the fuss. JUDY im sorry you never had anyone to fuss with and it has not always been this way. Also the fact that being an addict or alcoholic runs in our blood helps nothing. I wish the best for my sisters and brothers and if my sis can get one full year clean time in she is welcome to the end tables i took. However i will be keeping the desk cause i should get something. I THINK! Oh i just want too forgive and be forgave. ya know as if this part was over.

Comment by Judy on January 31, 2013 at 1:50am

Jo -- I often wish I'd had brother and sisters because being the only kid isn't all it's advertised to be. But your siblings are behaving terribly! That is just so disrespectful and shallow. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that situation. You & Nancy both have my sympathy!

 

Mark -- My dad wanted me to go through my mother's things a couple of months after she'd passed. I wanted to be a good little soldier, so I started on the project when he was out of the house. It was brutal. I didn't get very far, because I was crying so hard I was heaving. I didn't actually throw up, but I can see how you would have. It's like getting shot in the chest all over again. I feel so badly for you; I know that pain. It's good to hear from you again. I hope you're doing better.

 

Marie -- When I hear my mouth say, "My mother died last spring" to someone, I am not really connected to the words at all. On some level, I still can't believe she's gone. I don't think it ever gets easy -- even after two years.

Comment by Marie on January 30, 2013 at 8:24pm

Mark, so sorry! If it makes you feel any better, we still have not even touched the last stack of clothing my mom washed before she died. It sits on the dryer...been there for now over 2 years. It is hard. And I see how you could get sick. From my experience, I say take your time with it. If you need to wait another year or two to go through her clothes, then just do that.

I hope tomorrow is a little better for you.

Comment by Mark on January 30, 2013 at 8:07pm

I don't post as much.  Some times it's hard to read all this.  Today was a real bad day.  I actually thought after a year I was ready to remove my moms clothing.  Huge mistake.  I actually got physically ill and had to stop.  I have no idea where that came from.  I figured there would be sadness.  I'm use to that but getting dizzy and throwing up was something I didn't expect.  This pain is never ending.  I miss her and still can't believe she's gone.

Comment by Marie on January 30, 2013 at 7:29pm

Hello. Just joined this group and reading through the thread. So sorry for all of your losses!

My mom passed on Feb. 23, 2011..coming up on the two year mark and I still grieve as if it happened yesterday. I miss her so much. She was the single most important person in my life. The first few months after she died are a complete fog, I literally do not remember how I got through those days. The days have gotten better but it is still hard. Friends, family etc. always say I seem to be doing so well, but what they do not know is that she is always on my mind and the pain is brutal. Sometimes when I am crying due to missing her, I can literally feel the pain in my heart and soul.

And, there are still so many days when I just look up to God and say "okay the joke is over, bring her back!". I am not detached from reality or anything but I guess I am still in somewhat disbelief.

I am really glad to have found this group. I think talking to people who understand this type of loss will really help me a lot.

For those of you with recent losses I guess I can say that what helped me in those early months and year was family! My family has gotten much stronger since mom died and we are all closer than ever. We have gotten through this by keeping up moms traditions and celebrating her life with gatherings.

Looking forward to listening and learning from you all.

Comment by Nancy L on January 30, 2013 at 12:22pm

Jesse, I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  You are to young to have lost her. 

 

Jo, I understand what you are going through. There are 5 of us, and before my mom had been gone 12 hours, one brother was asking who gets what, who gets money for selling cows.  THEN before mom had been gone a month, my other brother said he wants to sell my mom & dad's house! There is no reason to, it is paid for! Either we sell it  or my sisters and I have to come up with the money to buy him out, not something I can afford to do right now! It just breaks my heart that my brothers are so cold and heartless. Give the rest of us some time to try to cope with her being gone before we start with the "I want, I want I want!"  I am grieving and I am so angry it hurts!! Is this really worth it?  I just want to run away and hide!!  It takes everything I have to get up in the morning.   

Comment by michael sandoval on January 30, 2013 at 9:56am

Dear Jesse,

I lost my mom in September 2012.  I know how you are feeling.  I also feel lost.  My mom was everything to me as well.  I miss her so much and it really hurts. 

Dear Jo,

I am sorry about your family.  I wish there was something I could do. hearing what you are going through brings tears to my eyes.  I miss my mom, too.  God Bless everyone.

Comment by Jo Moon on January 30, 2013 at 8:20am

I will leave one note to the sister who says EVERYTHING is hers it shall read....The LORD is my shepherd i shall not want i have all that i need

Comment by Jo Moon on January 30, 2013 at 8:19am

The LORD is my shepherd i shall not want! I have all that i need... My mother died three weeks ago yesterday. She had six kids i said all that to say this some of the kids who did not help pay a dime now want to complain COMPLAIN about things mother had that she said they could have when she was gone. Fact is thats no way to be when we had to sell her stuff to help pay off the bill. I had all kinds of bumps poping up on my skin i thought we had bugs of some kind. The bumps got worse i went to the er and the doc said it is stress bumps. So today i am going to give back my share of my mothers things. I will do my best to be the one to forgive and even forget that i payed 100.00 on the bill we all owed.

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