Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Latest Activity: Apr 11, 2024
Started by silvia maria. Last reply by silvia maria Aug 5, 2022.
Started by dream moon JO B Aug 13, 2021.
Started by Lucinda. Last reply by dream moon JO B Apr 19, 2021.
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Ann, I've thought the same thing, whatever it is that there is (or isn't) after death, eventually I'm going there too, the same as Mom. It's a bit of a comfort.
Today starts mom's 6 month journey home. It will be 6 months after midnight. I can not get the image of how great she looked the night before and what an extreme difference there was when I went to see her 6 months ago today. My heart is broken and my eyes are welling up with tears just thinking of the way I saw her. What bothers me the most is, instead of sitting holding her hand which I should have been doing, my friend and mother in law were holding her hand while I was calling my priest and trying to find out what happened to her during the night.
I don't know what comes after death but whatever it is, heaven or just a void, I will be there with my mom and that's all that matters.
Eliza, thank you for posting the Grieving Bill of Rights...it is so important to be given permission to grieve as we need to. Jeff, so sorry about your mom. I totally understand what you mean. My mom was older also, and it is no less painful for me than anyone else. She was my mother and it doesn't matter if she was 38 or 90, we all are entitled to grieve the same.
Mom will be gone 6 months on Tuesday. I decided to take the day off from work, go to her house that is up for sale and go to the cemetery. I was told by someone, why take the day off, if you are at work you can forget about it. I really do not think I will forget about my mom being gone 6 months. As far as Mother's Day, I told my husband I want to go away. I do not want to be home and continue with the traditions we used to do on Mother's Day. We are going away for the weekend, but will eat dinner on Saturday night at a restaurant that has her name. It was a joke we had with mom and we brought her a bumper sticker from that restaurant, which she kept on her refrigerator. I am very lucky my mother in law understands and we will take her out for dinner on a different weekend.
It is getting harder each day that we are getting closer to Mother's Day, I loved making it a special day for my mother, even though everyday was special with her, we lived together and always went places. To make it harder it will be her and my dad's 50th anniversary, she was looking forward to it and having a party. I remember her asking me, if I thought they would both be here for it. It will also be 17 months that day since my mom passed. Although, I go out with friends and seem like i am doing okay, I feel I still live in my mother's memory, I think of her all day, scary part is I don't want to move forward, I don't know what I am moving forward to.
I too am feeling a lot of emotions, mostly deep sadness and for moments anxiety, I feel very nervous and try to take deep breaths. I try to think being in this ''valley of shadows'' it's normal for now, since it's only been 3 months.
After my Mom died, a week after more less, I dreamt we were sitting side by side looking at the horizon, don't know if it was sunset. I had my hand in her arm and we were smiling, looking ahead. It had a peaceful feeling to it. I do hope very much that it wasn't just a dream but that we actually were together, somewhere...
Jeff, soon after my mom died, I had a dream in which she and I were visiting each other in an airport. It was very vivid. The thing that I thought was sort of remarkable was that she looked very happy and told me, "my knees don't hurt anymore!" My mom had terrible arthritis in life and was always in a lot of pain.
The numbness has really worn off over the last couple of weeks and now the reality that Mom is gone is sinking in more than it has ever before. I am experiencing a great deal of "roller coaster" emotions--anxiety, sadness, restlessness, sleeplessness (again), and it makes me uncomfortable. Everything I've read about the grieving process has taught me that this is all normal, all par for the course, and that for many, it gets worse before it gets better. Anyone else relate?
I do wonder about that stuff; it was very vivid...it was the kind of the goodbye I was not able to have with her....perhaps my subconcious at work, or maybe a visit from beyond. Who can say? It's all still quite raw even after 2 months; my Aunt told me she cries every day since my Mom passed. I hope she'll feel better in time, but it's really hard on her, being the last of 10 siblings. I'm an only child so, it's hard for me to fathom what she is feeling right now.
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