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Comment by Cindy C on August 5, 2013 at 8:01pm

Eliza, I havent been on for awhile. I had a rough time with my moms birthday on friday. Its almost four months since i lost my mom unexpectedly. We havent gone through moms house. So hard now cuz both parents are gone. I keep watering her plants but thats all i can do so far. I keep thinking of starting with donating her clothes. I keep thinking God will give me the strength when he feels i can handle it.Hang in there everyone.

Comment by Martha on August 5, 2013 at 2:51pm

You are welcome, Eliza. Today is a tough day for you, I can imagine. And, your Mom is proud of you by honoring her by doing what she loved to do. It gives me comfort to know our Mothers are our Angels now loving, and guiding us as they used to. It is Eternal Love.

P.S. It does not mean that I will feel low tomorrow, it just means that in those moments when I have a glimpse at the mysteries that are beyond our understanding one can see below the surface of events. Highly recommend Eckhart Tolle's Teachings specially "Practicing the Power of Now". My Mother and I used to read some of his teachings every day, and it non-denominational.

Comment by Eliza on August 5, 2013 at 2:04pm

Thanks, Martha. That makes sense--she loved sewing, and if she were still here, she would have it. AnD it makes me sad she isn't here and it's no longer hers. But I'm trying to live for her by carrying on the hobbies and things she loved so (like sewing and crafting). Feeling her presence a lot today. Today it's been 8 months.

Comment by Martha on August 5, 2013 at 11:47am

Eliza, I still have to go thru most of my Mom's personal things. I started to months ago, and had to stop as I could not bear it. Because my mother and I shared a home,  a good friend told me to wait until I had the strength to do it. Thus far I have not. I even have her purse which I put in a nice box, and not able to even open. Of course, you would almost feel guilty about having your mother's sewing box, it should be hers, and she should be here. This is where I am, as well. Our minds have not adjusted to the reality that they no longer are with us, they are now in Heaven with God.

Comment by Eliza on August 4, 2013 at 11:32pm

Coming up on 8 months since mom died (tomorrow). It's hard to believe it's been 8 months. And yet it doesn't feel like any time at all some days. Today I was going through her sewing box (my dad passed it on to me), and it made me immensely sad in some ways. I almost felt guilty taking it--it still feels like it should be hers. Anyone else experience this? And of course it made me sad to look through it and see half-finished patterns--things she didn't get to finish. I am so thankful I inherited what I call the "crafty gene" from her. It makes me feel closer to her.

Comment by Danny on August 4, 2013 at 6:19pm

We have to get the strength from somwhere Melisa.  I am thinking all the time, reading, etc.  We have to depend on God right now partially.

Comment by Martha on August 4, 2013 at 5:51pm

Don, thank you for sharing with us. I am very much like you, the same situation. We shared a home, and we were like one. Perfectly happy living in complete harmony.

I have lived of my own, but so grateful I got to spend as much time as I did before she left this world.

May God give is all the strength to go on.

Comment by Melisa C on August 4, 2013 at 5:14pm

Yes, Danny, that's one of the reasons why it's so hard to cope. We were very, very close. First time in my life I'm on my own.

Comment by Danny on August 4, 2013 at 9:27am

The key is whether one has created some sort of an identity for themselves already prior to the loss.  For example have you lived on your own before ? This helps to manage the grief of course it is not going to go away ever.  Managing the grief is the key Melisa.  One mistake I made was not to anticipate this at all. I didnt think of how I would manage this without my rock.  Did anyone do this ? I have however lived on my own and made my own decisions.  Plus I am reading a lot proactively now on how to manage. 

Comment by Melisa C on August 4, 2013 at 9:19am

Hi Donald. I also dread the thought of the rest of my life without Mom. It's so different now, I have to struggle to find little pieces of joy.

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