Comment

Comment by Danny on August 13, 2013 at 5:48pm

Hi HB I see where you are coming from.  Yes, friends will make it worse by talking about their boyfriends so my advice is to be with them but don't talk about any grief.  They don't know.  Also think that your loved one is now at peace since you mentioned she was not well for a while.  So if you do these two things it will help you.  It helped me a lot and also I did a lot of talking to my doctor if that helps.

Comment by Danny on August 13, 2013 at 5:20pm

Thanks Martha.  I need to try and heal so I feel one has to do some therapy even it is self or through a group.  I am reading articles on the Web actually as well did a lot of that in the first month.  I hardly talked to any colleagues about it so that was a good thing too. 

Comment by Eliza on August 13, 2013 at 4:13pm

I received a promotion at work today. That in itself made me happy, but I had a pang of sadness in the realization that I could not share this good news with Mom. I'm sure there will be other instances like these--milestones she won't witness or share with me. And that's something that will take a long time to get used to. Miss you, Mom.

Comment by Martha on August 13, 2013 at 2:54pm

I feel everyone's pain in this very touching group. It is as if I have found new brothers, and sisters all having lost that most wonderful being, our Moms. So pardon me for commenting on the latest posts, but I feel I must.

Muuna: Of course your Mom will be watching over you at your wedding. Spirit is eternal. She will be there for you, she is there for you now. Connect to that which is real, your spiritual side.

Danny: It is so good of you to help yourself by reading, and yes our health suffer because the heartache is huge.

Jeff: You are so strong at only 6 months of your loss. Your Mom has to be very proud of you.

Sheila: Yes, of course it was a miracle. Your Mom is your Angel now, and miracles will happen exactly as you need them.

Lisa: Your words are very profound. Our world has turned black and white since our Moms left. So well said.

HB: Please keep posting, it not only helps you, but it helps us, as well.

Love you all

Comment by Muuna on August 13, 2013 at 1:47pm

I feel horrible right now.. I love this group because there is no judgement. I miss my mum so bad. Its not fair I want her back! She saw my half sister (we share the same dad) through her wedding along side her real mum. My half sister had 2 mums at her wedding! I'll have none and I'm upset about it! What about me? What now?! Its not fair! I miss my mum, I need her too! What about me? :(:::::::::::::::::::::::::

Comment by Danny on August 13, 2013 at 1:36pm

basically that is how it is.  I do not even talk to any of my contacts about it as they don't get it.  They also talk about trivial issues as Martha pointed out.  I just do my own grieving and while my health has really suffered, there has been a wee bit of improvement due to the intense reading I am doing.  It is a massive loss but we need to find some ways to hang on for now.

Comment by Jeff R on August 13, 2013 at 11:44am

Yes, it is hard for people to sympathize when they have not had this kind of loss.  I also think that those individuals don't want to think about such things, so if we dwell on it, then they become uncomfortable.  To some extent, I think that's a natural reaction.  So, we wind up reaching out to those who have had a similar experience.  Monday was 6 months for me....still feels like yesterday.  Just very hard to accept, even though I must.

Comment by Sheila B. on August 13, 2013 at 12:23am

Facing my first crisis yesterday on my own since my mom passed, I'd like to believe she made a miracle happen.

Comment by Lisa S on August 12, 2013 at 8:36pm

Martha, you are so right about having to listen to other people's trivial issues, but the same people want to shut you down once you want to talk about your deceased loved one. I try to be understanding....I'm sad and nothing is going to change my situation, so what can they say to help. But soooo many "friends" just want us to move on...I don't think anyone can really sympathize until sadly they suffer a similar loss...which we don't wish on anyone...I think this is why this site is so comforting...we all get it...we understand the gut wrenching pain, the horrendous loss...how now rather than live a life full of "joyful" color, we must learn to live and find the joy in a black and white world...does that make sense? I am so very sorry HB, sorry for all of us....your pain is very new...your right the realty of the finality of it is sinking in. I promise the sharp pains of grief will subside in time...the horrendous loss of your "mom" will last for eternity, but I also believe that she will find ways to show you that she is with you. You are connected in spirit for always....hold on tight to that knowledge!! God Bless!!

Comment by Emily on August 12, 2013 at 8:07pm

HB I know its hard..... I still miss my mom and she died last Dec.

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