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Comment by Amy Gregory on August 31, 2013 at 2:50pm

My mom passed away 6 months ago and the pain seems to be even harder. I feel I have changed as a person and don't really care to do much anymore. My dad keeps telling me to move forward as that is what she would want us to do but I can't. I find nothing to matter in life anymore but my husband and two children. However, I feel I have distanced myself from them as well. I love my family ALOT but am having a struggle with wanting to interact...with anyone. Is this normal? I also am struggling with the fact my dad ow has entered into my life on a daily basis with calls and needing to be taken care of. This is what I sed to do with my mom...talk every day and it just feels strange. Can anyone relate to having to deal with the widowed spouse? They were married for 50 years..UGH!

Comment by Danny on August 31, 2013 at 11:22am

Here is one tip if it helps: For the first year or so do not rent or sell the parent's house so leave things as they are except perhaps the car since some places have parking rules in place and of course the kitchen or else the food will mess up the house.  Leave everything else the way it is. It will reduce the shock impact a bit.

Comment by Nancy L on August 30, 2013 at 10:14pm

Oh Jeff.  I feel so bad for you. 

My parents built the house that we will be selling.  PLUS, I will own the property (land) next to the house.  It will be so so so hard to see someone else living in their house.  The house I grew up in.  I live about 100 miles from where I grew up, I don't plan on going back except to visit my parents graves. 

It is hard to think of them in the ground.  I don't want to be put in the ground. 

I think of happier times too. Remember the good. 

Comment by Jeff R on August 30, 2013 at 9:40pm

so many common elements here....I've also been at the cemetary every few weeks since early summer.  It is really weird when you think about your parents being in the ground below you...very hard to rationalize. I put the flowers and say a few prayers.  My Mom's older sister is buried opposite my Mom (in the next row).   She was also my Godmother and we were very close.   I make my stop there as well and try to think of happier time when we were all together doing something fun...shopping, Atlantic City, dinner, etc.  Yes, time just keeps moving on.  this weekend, tenants will be moving into my Mom's house.  It's been so weird emptying it out...I too, have some of the furniture and lamps in my home now. It just feels so screwed up.  But, time moves on.  Just hard to readjust.

Comment by Nancy L on August 30, 2013 at 8:27pm

I miss my mom so much.  We have pretty much cleaned out my moms house.  I cried for a week straight when I came home from work to see my mom's living room furniture in my living room now.  I cry more now than I did when she passed.  My brother is being such a jerk and wanting to sell the house ASAP.  I hate to say this but I hate my brother.  My mothers death has made him so mean and so greedy that I can't stand it.  I feel that I might lose it at any moment.  My mom trusted him.  I told her not to but she said he will be fair.  Well guess what! He is stealing from the rest of us.  He is so intent on selling her house. he is forcing us to sell it.  I am grieving and I am so angry.  This is not a good combination. 

 

I use to have 2 bothers and 2 sister.  I now have 1 brother and 1 sister.  I could never understand why this happens in families.  But now I know.  I know how it happens.  I do not wish this on my worst enemy. 

My mom was a good person.  She was the sweet little old grandmother you would see out.  She talked to everyone.  Knew everyone.  I just can't believe she has been gone for 8 months now.  How does time keep moving?  It should have stopped when she stopped.  I was the last persons eyes she looked into before she died.  How am I suppose to go on with that memory.  It tares me apart. 

Comment by Danny on August 30, 2013 at 7:10pm

Yes it is very tough but again, one week at a time.  The first year is going to be brutal and I know it.  Not expecting a thing during this time but hoping to survive.

Comment by Melisa C on August 30, 2013 at 11:47am

It's been over 7 months and I still get emotional in public, that I could cry. I was in the bank yesterday, something about my mom's account and I almost started crying right there at the desk. So sad, I'd like my mom to exist in this world as she did before. I hate the fact that for the most part (except in my heart) she's just a name in a piece of paper now.

Comment by Martha on August 28, 2013 at 6:54pm

Ann, no need to say sorry about how you feel. You need to let it out, and this is the place to do it. We are all going through the same loss, we know what is like, and we all have to deal with people that have no clue how devastating losing our Moms can be. 

May God give us the strength to go on each and everyday.

Comment by Anne on August 24, 2013 at 2:25pm

The next three months are going to be hard.  September is when we found out her cancer had metastasized into her back, she spent 2 months in the hospital, and Dad and I were there every day.  Then 2 wasted weeks at "rehab" which was a joke...they never tried to get her back on her feet, and then another hospitalization for pneumonia.  We got her home in early November and were able to celebrate her birthday and Turkey day with her.  I can't believe it is coming up on a year...some days it seems like she has been gone for longer, and other days..well...like it just happened again.  I miss her, and when I am missing her HARD, I can feel that wound to my heart.  My SIL thinks she "knows" how I am feeling, that she feels the same way....let's just say I had to bite my tongue to keep from jumping down her throat!

   I am sorry for the rant...just...it's been hard lately, that's why I haven't posted more.  My prayers are with everyone here.

Comment by Danny on August 24, 2013 at 1:44pm

Thanks Martha. 

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