Comment

Comment by Danny on September 5, 2013 at 5:43pm

Correct Jeff and that is why you don't want to empty the house at all in the first year and leave things as they are.  Start all this after a year.  What's the rush ? 

Comment by Jeff R on September 5, 2013 at 5:28pm

Nancy, I think you hit the nail on the head about the house.  Emptying of the family home signifies that something that was integral to your life has now come to an end...it's been awfully hard for me to look around and see that empty home.  And recall things that had taken place in each of the rooms...events, meals, movies, etc.  And weird to have new people moving in, but at least that's a bit better than the emptiness.

Comment by Nancy L on September 5, 2013 at 2:19pm

Yesterday was a very difficult day.  I got the rest of my things out of my mom house (where I grew up).  I do not plan on going back.  It is sad to see the rooms empty.  Sad to know that we will never be a family there again.  Sad not seeing my mom sitting in her favorite chair.  Sad to know that what was my family is no more.  Sad to say goodbye.  All though I was sad, I wan't as emotional as I thought i would be.  Maybe it is a step towards healing. Maybe it will hit me more later.  I know I felt my mom's peace with me and that is what is important. 

Comment by Eliza on September 5, 2013 at 12:03pm

Thinking of mom today: nine months since she passed. I can't believe it's been nine months since I talked to her. I've had several signs of her presence (I believe), which comforts me a little. But I miss her every day. Love you, mom.

Comment by Emily on September 1, 2013 at 3:24am

Ann: I haven't been on here too much, because its just too hard for me, I lost my mom on Dec 27,2012. I live with my dad so I do know what it like to deal with the widowed spouse. I wish I could get my dad to talk to friends of his who have lost their wives. He wont' join a grief group and the grieving for a wife is different than the grieving of a child for their parent.

Comment by Eliza on August 31, 2013 at 9:37pm

Amy, I understand how you feel. For me, it got tougher before it got easier. It's been nearly 9 months now. I still have tough, down days, but I also have days that are more "normal." I, too, have a lot of contact with my dad since my mom passed. In a way, I've gotten to know my dad even more closely over the past 9 months than I probably have in my entire life. But some days it can be tough because it's like dealing with his grief on top of my own. My grief counselor pointed out that the entire family unit has to learn to live with the new normal that is our lives without mom. That takes time to navigate. Sending you hugs. One day at a time!

Comment by Sheila B. on August 31, 2013 at 6:40pm

This page is the only reason I come here. I am not talking about any of you. I just think it's a shame that on a grief board, people pick and choose what they want to support. It hurts just the same and I thought that is what we were all here for. 

Comment by Sheila B. on August 31, 2013 at 6:30pm

I have tried to support others here and post my personal thoughts. It hasn't worked out well for me, as I have seen happen to others. People are the same on the internet as in real life, when it comes down to it.  

Comment by Martha on August 31, 2013 at 6:08pm

It is over a year for me since losing my dear mother. The first year was emotionally devastating. You all had the sense to come to this site, it took me over a year to do so. My good friend kept insisting, and she was right. This is the place where I come to share. I do not do that out there anymore. Posting, reading your posts, and chat has helped me. After a year it is still painful, but having this support system here makes a difference. I thank you all for your posts, I thank the grief buddy I have found here, and I ask God to give us the strength to continue helping each other by sharing and having compassion for others. God Bless everyone.

Comment by Danny on August 31, 2013 at 4:13pm

Amy: The first year is supposed to be the toughest and we need to hang on for survival.  Clearly interaction with people is a struggle for me too but I make it a point to talk to a few people but never about what happened as they have not been through this but talking helps people in our situation.   

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