Comment

Comment by Nancy L on September 7, 2013 at 10:57pm

Rachel, I am sorry to hear of your loss. I can understand why you would be bitter that your sister didn't attend her funeral.  That is something that she will regret.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on September 7, 2013 at 8:06pm

I miss my mom every day....I have been thinking of her alot lately, it makes me sick that her and my sister were on the outs when she died, my sister didnt even go to her funeral...im still bitter about it....i love you mom and hope you are happy in heaven....

Comment by Angela on September 7, 2013 at 7:54pm

Thank you Martha for your kind comment.  You are too nice. I feel the same way about you also. 

Comment by Martha on September 7, 2013 at 2:51pm

Honest, the only reason I entered my comment was to let members who are going through this sad situation with siblings to know that it is possible for the opposite to occur. That there are exceptions. Dear Angela, of course I thought of you when I posted my comment, and how very devastating it is to lose your Mom and only sibling only two months later. Yes, that is even worse. That is why I am proud to have you as a friend here because in spite of it all you have managed to endure your pain with Grace. I am blessed to have talked with you many times on Chat. God Bless everyone in this very special group.

Comment by Angela on September 7, 2013 at 1:02pm

Here's another point of view. Not trying to offend anyone here but look at it this way. At least you all still have brothers and sisters to argue with. I lost mine around the same time I lost my Mom. Now I'm stuck with a house full of stuff and no one to fight over the stuff with. Makes me sad. wish I had someone here to sort the stuff out with. You all still have that chance to improve things with your brothers and sisters. They are still here. Be thankful for that. 

Comment by Sue Waxman on September 7, 2013 at 8:56am

Nancy,

I understand exactly what you are going through. My Mother Nancy died June 27 2011. My life completely changed that day. My sisters turned into self centered people I did not recognize. They sold the house "furnished" except for what they decided was theirs. I just could not understand. I had to walk away for my sanity. I did get a few things Mom had written down for me. My Mom was my best friend. We share Dec 19th as our birthday. I do not hear from my sisters at all. It is what it is. I always thought I was so good to them and their families. I am pretty much alone in the world. No kids. Husband left me right before she got sick for a younger woman. My life never gets easier. I have been VERY depressed lately with the holidays coming. Prayers to you and everyone else suffering.

 

Comment by Martha on September 6, 2013 at 8:00pm

I have prayed more since my mother passed than in my entire life before that. Mom was very smart, after two years of my father's passing she sold the house, gave my brother and i a modest inheritance while she was alive and made it clear that was it. I chose to buy a place as i used to live in an apartment in my parent's property. Mom and I were so compatible we decided to become roommates. So, everything is the same here, even her room looks exactly the same except for most of her clothing which was donated to charity. I have not finished going thru the rest of her things, it is too hard for me. And, as a friend said, take all the time you need. Fortunately, my brother and I have become closer. Mom was the bridge between us before. We are both making an effort to get along and check on each other every day, every other week we spend a day together. It is truly a miracle, but I have prayed so much for as I call him when praying "my parent's son" that so far, knock on wood, so good. And, I know this makes my parents in Heaven glad. I make a point to be kind to him, and he is trying to do the same. I think a devastating situation like this either brings the worse in siblings because of the money component, or in rare cases it brings them closer. Miracles do happen, and I am really trying for my Mom to look down, and be proud of what I am doing doing here. I have in my computer next to the DO TO LIST for my work these words: GOD FIRST. I wish the miracle of siblings getting along for their parent's sake. 

Comment by Jeff R on September 6, 2013 at 4:16pm

I'm an only child and sole heir, so luckily, I did not have to deal with sibling squabbles over assets.  I thought about leaving things alone for a much longer time, but that meant leaving the house empty, which I was told is a big no-no with the insurance company.  Then, the couple that eventually rented it, came to me with a faster timetable than I expected, so the entire clean out process was done in 6 months...including 3 garage sales and numerous donations to charity.  I do think it may be best to die penniless with no assets left behind.  I'm glad to have found a nice couple to rent the home, but for me, the process was painful. 

Comment by Danny on September 6, 2013 at 4:07pm

My support is with you Nancy and I see your situation.  It is overwhelming.  Just remember to take it one week at a time.  It is a very very tough process for all of us, and I just left town for a while so nobody could bother me.  That has helped a lot. 

Comment by Nancy L on September 6, 2013 at 2:06pm

My mom has been gone 8 months, I wanted everything to stay as it was, but a couple siblings would have sold the house the month after she died (seriously). My sister and I tried to buy it but our price wasn't high enough for them.  It has been a very very tough process for me.  They do not understand what the hold up is.  Losing my mom was hard enough but having to deal with getting rid of all her stuff, selling, it is overwhelmning.  I can say that my sister and I tried, we tried hard, but sometimes I guess that just isn't good enough. 

My family is more 'messed' up than I thought we were all along.  This is just dividing my family.  I tried to be the better person and not say anything, then I get hammered because I didn't say anything.  What do they want???  NOw that I said something, I am getting hammered that I did! This feels like a never ending battle. 

I am beginning to feel that it is better NOT to have anything left when you die so there are no battles like this.  I only have one child so there will be no battles for him. 

All in all I do feel a bit of closure though.  Hopefully the feeling stays.

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