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Comment by Kristin Renee on September 14, 2013 at 12:25am

It's been 4 months since I lost my Momma and I still cry every day. I can never feel relaxed or comfortable because something is always missing. I miss her desperately. People tell me it will get better but....I don't see how. I feel like all my happy days are in my past. I can't enjoy my life without her in it. We should've had decades of more time together. All I want is to go back and save her! 

Comment by Jeff R on September 11, 2013 at 2:38pm

Brette, yes, reminders all over.  I had to admit my aunt to the hospital last week and lo and behold, all of my Mom's info. was in there as the designated contact.  Very uncomfortable. Tomorrow marks 7 mos. since she passed; I still can't believe it. Such a gap in my life

Comment by Danny on September 11, 2013 at 5:07am

All I can say is focus on your own grieving week to week in the first year.  Am reading a book on it and it helps on how to survive. 

Comment by Brette Stinson on September 11, 2013 at 3:59am

Have you ever went to the doctor and registration go through your emergency contacts and your moms name is still listed. That is so unreal! I hate to say that she is deceased! I almost broke down when they asked me! I am so hurt when that happens. I just don't get it, I miss her so much!

Comment by Lesley Beach on September 9, 2013 at 11:34pm

Thanks Nancy. I don't really know why I can't make it to the groups. There are several and I know that groups can really help. I can't make it to hardly anything. I'm not doing any of the things I know would help, things I did before and enjoyed, long walks with the dogs, yoga, music, gardening. All I want to do is sleep or lose myself in a book. I thought I was bonded with all my family before this but people thought I picked sides when I didn't and was just trying to do the right thing. Now nobody is talking to anybody. It just makes me it all so much worse. It's not what my Mum would have wanted.

Comment by Nancy L on September 9, 2013 at 9:24pm

I am so sorry for you loss Lesley.  This is a good place to come and write/read or chat with those who have experienced the same things.  I too found it hard to find a group locally to join, but this is a great forum.  I too had to make myself get out of bed, make myself go and do things.  We do understand. 

 

Half of my family had bonded, the other half is only out for what they can get.  It is just such a terrible place to be in.  I tried to be nice to everyone, but it came a point where I couldn't take it anymore and said some things I shouldn't have, but yet I am glad I did.  Not only did I lose both parents with in 2 years, but feel like I am losing several members of my family.  I personally didn't do any "fighting" between my siblings, but it is still very hard to sit by and watch it happen. 

I feel bad for those of you who have to go through this without siblings.  That has to be very difficult too.  I only have one son, so this is something he will experience one day.  It makes me sad to think about it. 

Comment by Lesley Beach on September 9, 2013 at 6:44pm

Hi Everyone....I lost my Mum, quite suddenly in March and had to rush back to England where I spent 4 horrendous months watching my family behave terribly, fight and fall apart....Now I'm back home and so lonely for my Mum. I feel extra sad for her and for myself and for all of us that we didn't pull together and aren't in contact. My poor Mum had quite a sad life, my dad is an alcoholic, she died waiting for him to stop drinking. My father has never been there for us. I have called him a few times since I got back but he is so angry and mean that I've been left feeling awful so I've given up. I am relieved to have found this group. My doctor gave me a list of grief groups where I live but I can't bring myself to go yet. I have to force myself to eat, I feel so bad.

Comment by Jeff R on September 8, 2013 at 10:17pm

wow...families/siblings do strange things when a parent passes, some of it not so nice.  I saw a lot of that years back when my grandpop passed away.  Ideally, siblings can support each other during this difficult time, but we all know that doesn't always happen. Right now, I wish I had a sibling to share my feelings with...it's been rough running solo.  Don't know why, but today, Mom was sorely missed.

Comment by michael sandoval on September 8, 2013 at 9:54pm

Rachei, my sister too.  she hated my mom, and didn't go to the funeral.  nows she's visited with DAD!  she's sneaking back into the family after 17 years of feuding with my mom. making up stories and causing my mom so much pain. and being mean to both mom and dad.  and now, she's back like nothing ever happened.  i'm so pissed. she waited til mom died to vcome back.  i hATE her.

Comment by Martha on September 8, 2013 at 3:53pm

It seems like the world has gone on, and i am stuck with the grief of not having my mother here. Then i come here and see you all miss your Moms, as well. And, i know that there is nothing wrong with me. 

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