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Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on October 7, 2013 at 6:29pm

your right jeff she would want that....i miss my mom terribly but i know she wants me to be happy and i am living life to the fullest....i cry almost every day but iknow she wants me to go on....her death date is Dec. 8 and im singing in a concert that day....it will be a blessing and a nice tribute to her

Comment by Jeff R on October 7, 2013 at 5:30pm

I like to think Mom would want me to live my life to the fullest after she is gone, knowing that I did my best to care for her while she was here.  It doesn't make the loss any easier, but certainly makes the future a bit less bleak, once some of the pain of loss lessens.  We all have to move forward, as hard as it may be.

Comment by Lisa S on October 6, 2013 at 7:53pm

Hello Amy...I know how difficult it is to move forward, but honor your mother by staying in gaged for your kids sake. My kids were 13 and 10 when my mom passed, now they are 17 an 14 and I have few memories of them during those 1st 3 years because I was in such grief and depression. I wish I would have found this site sooner then I did as I felt so alone and hopeless. Please know that you are not alone and there is definately hope. Life will be different but you have your children to mother just as you know your loving mother would want you too. I don't want you to lose precious time with them.

Comment by Amy Gregory on October 6, 2013 at 4:28pm

I agree Eliza! It's been seven months and I am siting here numb. Missing my boys baseball game because I just can't get out of this rut. My condolences to all and hope this thing called "grief" will soon go away. I need to be a mother again just like my mother told me to do while during in hospice. So hard been the pain of her loss is so prominent.

Comment by Eliza on October 6, 2013 at 3:11pm

Ten months since mom passed. How could it already have been ten months? Sometimes it feels like forever; other times, it feels like no time at all. That's what grief does: it ebbs and flows, pushes you forward and backward and forward again. My condolences to everyone.

Comment by Martha on October 5, 2013 at 3:37pm

Thank you Michael, likewise. I am so sorry. 

My mother passed last year. From no particular illness, she just fell, lost consciousness and was taken to the hospital. I think they put her through so many tests (nothing wrong found) when she came out her health had deteriorated, less than three weeks later back to the hospital, so many tests... By the time she came home she could hardly walk. She was here in hospice for a week. And, on my father's birthday she told me she was ready to leave this world. Within 48 hours she was gone, those hours were just the worse thing ever. And, that was last year, it has been a long and painful road for me. Now, I have days when I do feel the Peace of God surrounding me, yet there are moments like now when a wave of sadness overwhelms me. I have not gone thru all her things. Just open a dresser drawer, and there I found business cards for all the different jobs I have had in my career and a devotional card of Saint Jude. Dear God, who does that? Only a wonderful mother thinks of that. In another box I found my father's driver's license, their names on a checkbook from their account of years ago, a devotional card with Jesus on one side, and a prayer.

Please forgive me for the comparison, but i feel as if i went thru a war, a war to keep my mother alive and well, and the war was lost. And, nothing will ever be right. 

Wish I could be up as I am most of the time, but my heart aches and need to let it out. 

Comment by michael sandoval on October 5, 2013 at 1:05pm

My condolences to everyone.

one year ago today I was speaking at my mom's funeral.  I miss you mommy.

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on October 4, 2013 at 8:14pm

Dia, you said my feelings exactly. I knew my mom was dying (6 weeks tomorrow)but I just went thru life crying and wondering how on earth I would be able to live w/o her! Her headstone just went in and I went to visit it today. I cried the entire time. Don't know when I will actually be ok, just going to take life one day at a time. I don't know what I'd do w/o this site. I miss my mom so very much!

Comment by Danny on October 4, 2013 at 5:16pm

Yes what Martha said is true and it holds whether the person is 30 or 57.  True adult.  That is the more difficult part and can take a very very long time to come to terms with. 

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 4, 2013 at 12:30pm

Thank you so much Martha. Your kindness means the world to me . I've found more kindness, understanding and patience here on this wonderful forum than in my real life. Perhaps all of us are kind and compassionate because we have suffered loss, face grief and pain, sorrow and heartache on a daily basis. People who have never lost a loved one will never understand how truly tragic it is . I'm here for all of you. Please count on me anytime . My ma(Indian word for mother) was an ocean of love and kindness and I always try to follow her lead .thank you.

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