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Comment by Lisa S on October 9, 2013 at 9:43am

Maybe that's why they don't get it. Just like Dia said, all loss/grief is hard, but the loss of the person who truly loves you unconditionally is unimaginable until you experience it first hand. I also believe some people are just born more empathetic than others. I think the worst part is feeling all alone, like there must be something wrong with you for not being capable to move forward. This site and all of you are a blessing to sooo many grieving orphans...makes me feel even more empathetic towards all the children orphaned in this world.dont mean to be a downer, reality is Life is just not fair to anyone.

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 9, 2013 at 6:46am

I guess everywhere it's the same . What our respective partners and others don't understand is the gracity of this loss. Any loss is heartwrenching. However in my opinion losing one's mother shakes the very foundation of one's being. I can vouch for a fact that most of us have never ever been loved the way our Mothers loved us. The unconditional love and caring, the special bond . Only a mother is capable of that. How the heck then do we * move on* . I find it insulting to the greatness of my mother if anybody even subtly or diplomatically suggests it's time to move on. Really?. Everything I am I owe to my beloved mother. Hers was the most loving, comforting presence in the world.her love cannot be replaced by anybody else. Seems like people just don't get it.

Comment by Danny on October 9, 2013 at 6:36am

sometimes its mentally tough and on some days physically tough. Had this huge issue last week where I experienced shortness of breath.  Dizziness in the first two months sometimes now.  On that note, Iwould suggest to all to avoid driving if you can.

Comment by Danny on October 9, 2013 at 6:30am

Looks like most of the husbands are not getting it ?  Can't 'move on' so quickly, looks like this term is being used worldwide.  Can't 'get over it' but that's perfectly ok.  Jeff, tell us how you 'get used to it'.  The fact that one cannot make those regular calls is a killer.  The reassurance is missing, makes me not so strong anymore like I used to be.

Comment by Nancy L on October 8, 2013 at 9:55pm

I have heard the "move on" more than once this past week.  I am not able to.  I have a lot of my mom things at my home.  My husband said I needed to get rid of some stuff.  I can't, I just can't.  He is right, i do not need another bedroom set, I do not need anymore kitchen things, I do not need anymore nick nacks.  But they were my moms.  I can't do it. 

Comment by David on October 8, 2013 at 8:52pm

The difference with medical malpractice, though, is that there's actually at least one (sub-) human to blame for the so-called error. So it's very difficult to get over/used to any of it. While my family's lawsuits won't bring mom back, we can at least try to squeeze as much money out of the killers as possible to hopefully make it hurt them as much as they hurt us - or to least make them never forget what they did to mom.

Comment by Jeff R on October 8, 2013 at 8:24pm

You never 'get over it' you just "get used to it"

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 8, 2013 at 6:41am

Hi Shawna . My condolences for your loss. I lost my beloved mother this July 22. Just a little over 2 months now.I can relate to your situation. My mother was my soulmate. She was EVERYTHING to me.The people in my life know this yet they are getting impatient with my grief and expect me to move on . *moving on * : these 2 words are very often used here in India. How I dislike them. Moving on from the loss of the greatest mom, the most wonderful person. Mom was my best friend, my hero, the greatest love of my life. Personally I resent anyone trying to put a timeline on my grief.My mom was so incredibly special I don't want to move on . People are insensitive and their words often cruel .You are justified in expecting sensitivity and patience from your husband . Death of a mother is the greatest tragedy ever. My humble suggestion is to seek kind, understanding , supportive people like those on this wonderful site and in this amazing group. I'm just a young girl on the other side of the world. But I'm here for you. Take Care.

Comment by Danny on October 8, 2013 at 6:30am

Just happened to read your post again Shawna and the words 'get over it' sprang out.  You never get over it so your husband does not know anything about this to be honest.  And none of us are expected to.  You can try to adjust to the new life and function like you have been doing quite well I would think but you want to run from people who ask you to get over it.  It's not their fault, they don't know. 

Comment by Dana on October 7, 2013 at 8:49pm

Reading these posts are really helpful as I see others experience many of the same things I have and am going through.  It does help to know what I feel is "normal" as in day to day living many do not talk about their loves ones passed and at times I feel awkward in speaking about my late mother.  I will not stop though as she was such a large part of my life it is my way of keeping her memory alive and not tucking it away as though she did not exist.

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