Comment

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 26, 2013 at 2:59am

Hello to all. I've been feeling very lonely, miserable and unhappy for the past few days to the point of despair. I've been dealing with insomnia, stress and anxiety since many years now as I was my beloved mum's caregiver and together we have faced some very tough and traumatic times. I find my anxiety, insomnia and stress at an all time high. I just don't know how to cope. I would really like to chat with somebody here if possible. In front of my family I act strong else they will fall apart but I'm human and just want to crawl into bed and not leave. I want to heal and come to terms with my loss. Well atleats thats what my friends say I should be doing as that would make my mum happy. Sorry if I'm rambling. Thank you for this wonderful group.

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 26, 2013 at 2:59am

Hello to all. I've been feeling very lonely, miserable and unhappy for the past few days to the point of despair. I've been dealing with insomnia, stress and anxiety since many years now as I was my beloved mum's caregiver and together we have faced some very tough and traumatic times. I find my anxiety, insomnia and stress at an all time high. I just don't know how to cope. I would really like to chat with somebody here if possible. In front of my family I act strong else they will fall apart but I'm human and just want to crawl into bed and not leave. I want to heal and come to terms with my loss. Well atleats thats what my friends say I should be doing as that would make my mum happy. Sorry if I'm rambling. Thank you for this wonderful group.

Comment by Angela on October 26, 2013 at 12:08am

No Boabie you are not crazy. You are doing what you feel is right for yourself. You have to go at your own pace. I also feel like I'm not doing what I normally would do either. This grief has changed me in a not so good sort of way. My patience level is low. I snap at people over little things. Just not acting like my old self lately. Lost a really good friend this week because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I'm really struggling hard this week. I miss my Mom sooo much. She was my best friend. My rock and now she's gone. It's been 9 months now and I feel like it was yesterday.  I tell people to move forward and not backwards but this week I'm the one that's moving backwards not forward. Feel so alone right now. Feel guilty like I should have pushed the doctors harder to catch my Mom's cancer sooner. It was this day last year when we found out her cancer had spread to her brain. It was the beginning of the end and I feel soooo bad tonight. Thanks for letting me vent here everyone.

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on October 25, 2013 at 2:44pm

It hurts so bad to think about my mom being gone from me, her grandkids and greatgrandkids. At this point I put all her pics away except two pics that are group pictures. It is just too painful to look at what I have lost. Am I alone, or has anyone else put away their pics? I want to bring them out eventually, but I cannot yet. I think people think I'm crazy, I am just not ready!

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on October 23, 2013 at 11:58am

I'm hurting so much . Hurting when i think of all the hardships, diseases , pain and suffering my mum endured. Hurting because she was the kindest, most wonderful person with a heart of gold who deserved all the happiness in the world. I'm hurting because my ma (indian word for mother) was shortchanged all her life. She was a giver all her life but she could have got so much more . She could have lived longer with better health . She could have been happier . I keep asking questions why why why but ofcourse get no answers .really is there any justice in this world. Here we are always taught to do good karma but really does good karma beget you good things. I'm very doubtful .My mum was an epitome of goodness, kindness. She was the most incredible person with a heart of gold and a soul so pure but look how she suffered. My hearts broken at this travesty of justice.

Comment by Danny on October 22, 2013 at 1:28am

Indeed Jeff that 5-6 month period is when the grief and pain is raw and at its most intense.  I would even go with 11-12 months since the anniversary comes around and the grief attacks come in.  Not sure of anything after that.

Comment by Wendy (Boabie) on October 21, 2013 at 10:23pm

Little things disrupt my thoughts. For example, my mom had her finger slammed in a door, and had to have a skin graph when I was a kid. For the life of me I cannot remember what arm the graph was on, nor the finger of her replacement skin. I know that it was her middle finger and arm that had the graph, just not sure if it was left of right? Don't ask me why that began to bother me. My husband pointed out there is no reason I need to remember. But, at 8 weeks the loss is still so painful! Thank you all for listening to my rambling. It is great to be able to come hear and share with y'all.

Comment by Jeff R on October 21, 2013 at 5:39pm

the first 5-6 months, you are just walking in a fog of pain and grief...it does start to lift eventually, becoming less oppressive.  But, it still hovers.  Does it ever go away?  I'm not sure.

Comment by Danny on October 21, 2013 at 5:31am

You've done well Cynthia.  Going through the motions and doing what you have to do is the right thing for now. 

Comment by Martha on October 19, 2013 at 1:45pm

There is something very spiritual about this group. Sometimes, as it is for me today I feel depleted, and a comment like yours Dia made me feel like there is a light that we can shine unto others, and it get reflected back to us at the precise moment when it is needed the most. Thank you.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 329
• 330
• 331
• 332
• 333
• …
• 542
• Next ›
• Page