Comment

Comment by Tans on July 20, 2014 at 9:10am

Casey, what you are doing with the memoirs - is a good thing. I have gonna back to therapy and that is the first thing she asked me to do. she said that it would be difficult and that there would be a lot of tears but I would be writing about my best friend and how I saw her in my eyes. It's for no one else really but for you. I think that it's a brave step that you are doing. My mom has passed nearly four years and it gets a little easier sometimes, but there are days when the only thing that would make life good is mom, and those are the hardest. People don't know how to react to a person who has lost a parent - it's only when they go through it do they realise the enormity of the loss. People think that it's something we just get over and it's not especially depending on your relationship with your mom. Yes there are days where we don't want to get up and wish the world would just stop - just know that mom wouldn't want to see you like that and slowly get up and do something small, if you work try and focus on that while you are there - yes easier said than done - but baby steps guys. Hugs to all.

 

Comment by Danny on July 19, 2014 at 6:00pm

Ya, a part of us is gone in a sense.  Yes what Casey mentioned about an adult child is very true and many of us feel orphaned at midlife or as a young adult like at 30.  That is what it is, they don't think it is as sad.  Yes losing a child is (perhaps) more devastating in their eyes but for us our anchor is the parent and many of us live well only with that anchor.  So its a devastating thing for us which few seem to support for a long time.

Comment by tigertoo on July 19, 2014 at 5:51pm

Casey, I'm 52 and I certainly know how you feel! I feel like I've lost ME!

Comment by Casey on July 19, 2014 at 5:41pm

or they dont think its as sad when an adult child loses their mother. Not true, I am 30 and I need my mother more than ever.

Comment by Danny on July 19, 2014 at 5:22pm

Because they don't know or have not experienced this themselves.

Comment by tigertoo on July 19, 2014 at 3:53pm

Lord I miss my mother....it's only been a month. Will it ever get better? I just can't seem to concenrate on anything. Why is it people stop asking how you are after a week or so......

Comment by Danny on July 19, 2014 at 2:52am

Memoir is a good thing Casey.

Comment by Casey on July 19, 2014 at 2:02am

It’s been five months since my mom passed away. Today, I found a photo of my mom on her phone that I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was taken two months before she passed, and I just bawled. I saw the one text msged she ever sent me and that was somehow preserved, she asked me, “are you busy, when do you get off work, you ate yet?”

Since she passed away, I‘ve been working on a memoir. I have about 22,000 words, and everyday, I still reflect on her life, and all the things she ever said and all the things that she done. Every time I write, the wounds open up further more, but it’s the only way I feel like I can “stay” with my mom. The only thing I care to do is to commemorate her and put her entire life into writing because that’s all that matters to me now. I completely lost interest in my life. This is still a nightmare and sometimes I miss my dear dear mother so much. I pinched myself and wonder if this is really happening still. I pray everyday I will be reunited with my mother even if that mean I will die today or right away or suffered the worse fate. I do not even have strong religious or spiritual beliefs but I really just need my mom and my heart is bleeding to death.

Comment by Eliza on July 18, 2014 at 12:16pm

It's been 1 year and 7 months since mom passed. Today is her birthday. I plan to release some balloons after work. Happy Birthday, mom! I wish you could be here to hold your granddaughter, due October of this year. I love and miss you.

Comment by Danny on July 15, 2014 at 3:58pm

Yes you have to work on building a bond so as to not feel completely lost.  This is a key part of my own grief process and is ongoing as Wendy said.  But I feel it is helping a bit.

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